I stopped showering to be clean, I now shower to think the damage you have caused my mind to start to thinking about the bullshit I've gone through strong but break down to rock bottom when it comes to being alone at night...to feel the hot water fall against my body I call not perfect. I overthink and say things I end up not doing. Why? Because there's always consequences to my actions which then come back to my mind to think again why did I do it, why didn't I do it, or I should have done it better. Thinking and overthinking about my past doesn't help just opens the wounds it left me as a child who didn't know what to do or wanted to do something but couldn't, stupid me didn't have enough courage. To think if that loss of yours is happy with what you have become or why did that loss have to leave you and that hurtful hole in your heart and in your head just like the people existing around you today. At last you think how dumb you are because why enter the shower to cry when you can lay in bed waiting to knock out while your depressing ass music plays all night as well as your tears fall all night. Nobody will know you cry an ocean every night because you know that opening up never helps, until you find the right glowing heart.
ps. don't get too attached to a fake glowing heart !!!
Author Notes: hope you guys enjoy reading my stormy thoughts as much as I enjoy writing them out.