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I Guess This Is It

I Guess This Is It

By why_now - 1 Review


We met in June of 2019, and we became friends almost instantly. We had our first kiss two weeks later while practicing for a talent show, even though we barely knew each other. After that, we were always together. We sat together in class, walked together in the halls, and all of our free time during that summer we hung out. In October we started dating, yeah it all happened really fast but you know you really made me forget about my family issues. We went to Fall ball, I met your amazing family and spent time with your grandmother (who I still adore). I started doing a thing where I would write you a note every month telling you I love and appreciate you. Things were going good, we hung out all the time to the point where it was strange if I wasn't there. 2020 came around, I turned 16, COVID happened, and then quarantine.

That is where we first started falling apart, we drifted apart and you started to go to bed early but soon to find out you were staying up late, face-timing your friend from another city. We broke up in April, right after 6 months of dating. That is when my depression started to kick in, then at the end of May, we started talking more. We hung out a couple of times, At the end of June, we got back together because I realized I needed you. You made me happy, you showed me that I can be loved and that I am not alone. You made sure that I didn't go back to self-harm and our relationship grew stronger. July, I went camping with you and your family and that was definitely an experience. By the time we went home we were all sick of each other😂.

We hung out at least twice a week and my relationship with your family continued to grow. The school year started, and we kept hanging out. Things were going smooth, and then we started drift. My depression started to sneak back, and you started playing more on your ps4 causing us not to talk as much. December came around and we had our one year, and Christmas came around and we hung out. New years was spent together until 9 pm and then we facetimed at midnight. My depression kept getting worse, causing panic attacks and anxiety.

I probably annoyed you with the amount of times I would ask you if you were okay and if we were okay. I grew up with my parents having a toxic relationship all my life, and that was the only example of a relationship I had. So I am sorry if I caused us to become toxic and drifted away, I will always love you deep down, and I hated the fact that we broke up but I know it was for the best. I promise you that I will always be here for you even if you don't want me to. I want us to remain on a good page. I am sorry I haven't written you any notes the past couple months, but this is your January letter. I am sorry we didn't stay together, and I hope we can both learn from this. So here is to us making up and moving on. Again, I am sorry.

- xo

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12 Jan, 2021
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