I miss you. I type into my phone, the device shakes in my hands. No, I can’t say that. He wouldn’t understand. I delete the message and put my phone away, so I won’t be tempted to talk to him.
It’s not like we completely stopped talking. But it feels as though we did. You’re a stranger to me now. It’s odd how you changed so quickly. Late night texts and early good mornings, only to be talking once or maybe twice a day. I get that you like her. But that’s not fair to me. She can barely tolerate you. Yet you call her princess. And all I’ve ever done is care about you. Yet you treat me like a piece of gum you stepped on.
How can you be so foolish? I trusted you even when trusting seemed impossible. And I cared about you when no one else was around. I was there when you needed me. But you were never there when I needed you. I still need you. So let’s see how you feel when you’re breaking down and the walls of reality are collapsing upon you. Let’s see how you feel when you go to her for help and she doesn’t want to support you. I want to know how you feel when you realize you need someone the most and I’m not there for you. Because for once you’re going to know how I felt, when I was broken and I needed someone to help me put everything back together. How I felt when I went to you for comfort and you didn’t care. How I felt when you left me alone.
But can I ask you what it was like having everything in someone and not realizing it until it was too late?