I Must Survive

Falling, crying. Tears are streaming. Screaming. Fire. The room is filled with fire. The orange and red flames lick the ceilings and tickle the floor. Cracking, crashing. The house is caving in. I have to get out, I have to leave. All my instincts tell me to get out of this fiery hell but I can’t. I can’t move, I can’t see. Thick smoke fills my lungs, I can’t breathe, can’t see. Blackness overwhelms me, and I see no more. Death arrives, to take me away.

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The lights are so bright, white, blinding. I can’t move my arms or my legs. I can’t feel my arms or legs. I can’t feel at all. I am empty, nothing, gone. The white fades and I am encased in darkness again.

I can hear them, but I can’t see them. Beeping, quick and sharp in my ears. Voices, yelling but calm. Clangs of metal instruments. The voices and noises go on for a while, and fade like the white.

Bu-bum bu-bum, my heart beats. The sound shocks me and I breathe. I breathe. I am most relieved as my lungs open and the air flows through. I can feel the cold, fresh air and my body starts to function again.

Time is meaningless, the darkness does not lift. The only thing that matter is my struggle for survival. My body works, but I need help. A crushing darkness weighs down on me and I try to lift it but it pains me greatly. Every second is a new struggle. I can feel again and there is pain. Pain as I get help and I survive. I must survive.

I can move. Movement is small, but I can move. I can open the lids on my eyes. I can see. I can see the paneled ceiling, the dots on the panels. I saw a man. I could not hear him, but I can see him. I can move my fingers and my toes. I can move.

Little by little I regain sense of time and feeling. I can move more and more. The nice man, who I find out is my doctor, he helps me. The day I can eat pudding by myself is a day of triumph. I can lift the metal spoon and put it in my mouth all by myself. I am happy as a small child. We celebrate, the doctor and I, with more pudding and milk. I eat almost all of it by myself.

It has been many months since I regained my sense of time. I walked across the room today. The cold floor was hard and cruel to my bare feet but I did it. I walked. I will survive.

I am free. I am out of the hospital, and I am free. I have since learned what happened and I am told by many I am lucky to be alive. I want to sing to the world as I walk down the white hall, my doctor by my side. He smiles gently and we go into a different room. Now I learn why I am here.

I was in a fire. A terrible fire that destroyed the whole house I lived in. It nearly killed me, it nearly burned me up. But I was saved, I am a survivor. Unfortunately, I was the only one. My mother, my sister, my father, all gone. Now I will be sent to live with my aunt in New York.

Although I have lost much, and for that i cry, I am still here. I am strong as my mother would want me to be, I am smart as my father would want me to be, and I am caring as my sister would want me to be. In my heart there will always be a longing sorrow but in my dreams they are there, waiting for me. It's not my turn yet to join my family, and now I must survive until my time comes.

I have survived.

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