I Want to Say

I keep telling myself this is the last time,

This is the last time I'll jam what you did

Into some off-key rhyme,

This is the last time I will admit to myself how much I care,

But it really isn't fair,

I keep making myself these promises like I can keep them,

But at the end they're always torn at the hem,

I want to say I never loved you,

That you never meant anything to me,

Because when it comes down to it I just want to be free,

But I can't seem to escape your hold,

It's almost as though with each word I'm told

Your grip becomes tighter,

Why do you do this to me?

I sometimes wish I'd never met you,

I'd be living happily,

I want to say that I don't care what you do,

But no matter how much you've made me hurt,

I still let you be a flirt,

I watch you abandon me again and again,

And let you come back

As though you didn't hurt me then,

I want to say that I don't care

Because having feelings for you is too hard to bare,

It can never be returned,

That's what I've learned,

So I lie to myself

And say I don't care

I swear,

I don't