I'm not really sure what I'm doing. Sometimes in the moment I'll just go for things, but for the most part I tend to overthink. Which side of the car should I sit in? What will happen depending on where I go to eat dinner? Somehow, I always end up imagining the worst possible outcomes. I know it's bad to think worst case scenario, but that's just where my brain automatically goes. It's like I just decide to try to make myself as miserable as I possibly can. I'll be out with friends and all the sudden all just start thinking of all the ways of how what's happening could go wrong, and then I eventually end withdrawing. Nothing will be going wrong until I make it go wrong. It's almost like self sabotage except that I don't really want to destroy my life, I just end up freaking myself out and deciding that what I'm doing isn't worth the risk. Even something as simple as eating breakfast with my family. I don't really know why I'm writing this here; I just wanted to let people know that if they also feel this way that they are not alone. We may not be trying to self sabotage, that's just what ends up happening. Just remember to keep your head up and remember that if there is a worst possible outcome then there must be a best possible outcome as well, we just have to strive to achieve it and not let our self doubt get in the way of being happy.
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