You can say you’re okay, you can go through the day, with a fake smile on your face, and a fake laugh to go with the act. But I know you, and I know deep inside, you’re drowning in the tide, you’re falling into the darkness, and you’re getting crushed by the weight. You don’t have to lie; we all know we’re going to die. Just depends on who we are, and how much we care about the life that makes us suffer.
We drink and smoke, do drugs and sleep, floating away through the deep. The deepness that’s there, no matter where. It follows us like our shadows, leading us out of the shallows, to the freedom of death, losing the feeling of breath. We start not to care; we start to dim the flair. Wanting to hurt, and trying to feel pain, the pain of the blade, the pain of the punch, the pain of the burn, that just starts to turn. Turns into nothing, almost into pleasure, to feel anything at all, to feel the pain of it all. After a while the feeling is gone, and then we start to feel nothing at all.
So, we push it hard, throwing us farther, saying it’s not the worst, believing we are still there, trusting we’re just lost. Just wondering when we will get us back, but in reality, the old us is gone. It isn’t coming back. We pushed it down. Burned it into smoke. Cut so much of it out so it is no longer there. But we still go through the day… with a fake smile on our face. We say we are fine, when we are really dying inside.
Author Notes: You aren't alone we are all here feeling the same way... you just need to know how to find us.