I'm Sorry

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"

She whispered it softly, wanting him to hear it. She stood in front of him, head hanging down and tears burning in her eyes. Her throat ached from the need to cry, but she couldn't. She wouldn't.
It took a while before she looked up. Her stomach twisted and her brain forced her to keep her head down again. Eyes burning with unfelt tears, she grasped at her writhing stomach.
The pale form lay in front of her, the boy's lengthy hair neatly combed back. It had never been like that. He had always kept it messy. She remembered the smooth feel of it, the way his eyes lit up when her fingers met his skin. She prayed it would be a lie, but the velvet inner walls of his new - and forever - room proved her hopes wrong.
Their fantasies of being together for the rest of their lives were left to only her. She had to decide. Would she give up on him? - or would she stay - lost in memory for the rest of her life?
She couldn't do that to herself. He wouldn't have wanted her to, either. She knew that's it was best to move on, but she couldn't. How could she ever?
He was the love of her life, and he was gone. Gone forever. There was no getting him back.
Finally, the tears pooled over, and she had to jerk away to keep them from falling on his face. Gently, she stroked his cold cheek, sobbing. She yearned for him to return the soft touch, but knew he wouldn't.
Taking the knife out of the folds of her dress, she gulped. She had to see him again - wether her parents were watching or not. Placing it on her throat, she ignored the screams and cries from her friends and family. Shedding tears of her own, she gathered her courage and jerked her arm towards herself.
The cool metal collided with a strong sting, but it was over quickly. Standing over her, she saw him. He had deep sadness in his eyes, but held his hand out to her anyway.
"You shouldn't have done that," He said, his sorrowful voice warming her heart.
She shook her head. "I had to," She embraced him tightly. "I love you,"
"I love you too,"

She sat up, tears streaming down her face. The four cement walls threatened to enclose around her, but she forced herself to ignore them. The dream had come again. It was what she should've done.
Guilt shredding her stomach, she turned her back on the iron gates of her cell, wishing her life away.

Author Notes: I had a dream like this once, but about a different person. I wasn't in prison, but it felt like I was. Anyway, hope everyone is hanging in there! I'm trying to fight it, most of you know what it's like. When does this stop??
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