If you want to see the colors or hear sounds of life, you have to reach for them. The feelings of distraught, almost as if those colors feel so dull and worn out, even you. The sounds of cars swooshing past you, children laughing, people clapping, just doesn't have any specialty. As if the world is slipping from your soul and you're not even dead yet. You're heart is still beating but the world seems to not listen, seems to not appreciate it, too distracted with "more important things." Life gets to that point where, you just don't see the reason of trying to find happiness because for so long it has been absent. But even if happiness does come close to your heart, why let it in? Your heart has been so empty, you've felt life has already ended in a still functioning body. You've Learned that happiness never last as long as sadness does. People out there complain "If god really loved them, there wouldn't be so much pain on this earth!" It's almost as if they forgot about Adam and Eve. Almost as if they were forgetting, you have to fail, you have to get hurt or soar before you succeed, before you grow strong. I believe everything happens for a reason. That God hates to see you hurt but he has a reason to let that continue. He can see what's coming towards your life before we do. God wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle, because then again, you can do all things through christ who strengthens you. But he is not a genie. You can't just expect Jesus' mighty hand reaching towards you from the sky and taking away your pain. Again, he knows what's best for you. One of the things of having faith in the Lord is being well aware that being a child of christ will not give you a perfect life, sorry but that perfect life only exist in heaven. Having faith is turning to God and trusting him during anxiety, tragedies; trusting in him that he will get you through it! Because after all, he died on the cross because he loved you. What if I told you that happiness gets camouflaged. What if I told you that you were wrong when you thought it was absent, that I was wrong. That sorrow is just unbelievably overwhelming, unbearable, that we just grew blind to it? That life was still with you, and that God loved you before you even took your first breath. That God was listening to your aching heart and your crushed soul. Life wasn't ignoring you, you were ignoring it, you pushed it away without the intention. Through your days you wondered why you could only see colors as if they were fading right before your very own eyes. Why sounds around you didn't sound so clear to you. You wondered why God never helped you, and maybe he didn't care. For so long you searched for the answer of why certain things in your life were incomplete, but did you ever look for the things that were? You wondered why you never felt happy but you never wondered what you could do to make yourself happy. This will not be the last time you will get hurt. But, finding joy in the mist of suffer, will make you stronger. Pain whispers to you day and night, it tells you what you can't do. But its about time you stop letting suffer control your life, this is your life, you turn around and you say back off, Keep away. You are far better than these negative things. You are a child of God. Temptation lingers on this Earth, but God remains.