whispering speech
barely audible
he’s conspiring
the dollars in his hand are clenched tight
bartering with another
money for steel
he lures me away
quick movements
the flash of skin
the scrape of metal
the crimson
how did we get here
was it what i said
the taunts and harsh words
or him
the tears and breaking voice
or both
the crimes
i turned him in
i brought this upon myself
didn’t i ?
it’s too late
the scrape is not a scrape
but a cut
deep
like the rift between us
what was it
the shove in second grade
when he stole my washable marker
the kiss i pulled away from
after i begged for it
just to see him hurt
the drunken shouts
at a sophomore party
where i had too much
where i told him things
god what’s wrong with you
your dreams
your family
you
what’s fucking wrong with you
but really
did it need to go this far
he stole a case of dos equis
didn't share it with his junior friends
but did he
so
i turned him in
i turned him in
that’s what i’ve always been told is the thing
to do
right ?
i knew he was worn thin already
torn apart
by the slice of my
soul's obsidian blade
i knew it
so
i told
god knows what would’ve happened if i didn’t
that was my logic
but
now i’m laying on the ground
he’s sullen before me
a gash on my stomach
and
holy hell it hurts
what did i expect
honesty never helped anyone
but
i spoke up
did i
yes
i wanted him to get busted for something
i was protecting others
from his off-color ways
he was always kind
no
yes
he was always kind
no he wasn't
i wanted to punish him
i was doing the right thing
for not being as screwed up as me
i was doing the right thing
i wanted to punish him
for not being a jerk
for not having a single reason to be disliked
for being the best boyfriend i could ask for
for always being so goddamn perfect
well
damage done
to both
i’m bleeding out
he’s bleeding within
we’re deranged casualties
together
now isn’t that cute
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United States • 18 years old