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It Hits Me Again , That Cruel Pain
It Hits Me Again , That Cruel Pain

It Hits Me Again , That Cruel Pain

HudaFatimaHudaFatima
1 Review

It was just after half past three at noon

when a cry pierced my lobe

I turned around and ran to hid behind the poles

Sitting in the Paeds department hyperventilating

I found myself transported back to mine old news

Where I had dropped down on ground and had screamed my heart out

With my hand shaking and eyes on drought

That pain was sharp and loud

I did feel my core being ripped out

And everything rest was less pronounced

As they had wheeled her out

All I could think was how can this happen so early and now

What about me?

How can Lord be this mean?

My world had stopped since

I was caged in a heartbreak and laugh less scene

with each day as a sin

And me wondering ‘when will happiness begin?’

Couple of moons have gone by in between

And yet I couldn’t stop myself from melting down

On hearing that exact sound

that scream and emptiness pouring down

My tears found their own vows

Hugging me in a shell of their aching sound

I spent heavily to come out

went and roam around

And when the night fell

I didn’t feel that solace around

So a fresh stream broke again

loose from my cheeks

and once again I screamed

hiding inside my room

My puffy eyes and nose red tinged

I couldn’t breathe or think

all I knew was - She is for ever gone

I’m scared what if I can’t remember her voice

her anger and all our disagreements

her warm hugs and her nth number of calls

Nothing will ever be same

And it seems I’m doomed

After all she was my only parent

And now , she was never going to be around.

Author Notes: Grief. Loss. It never ends. They say there are five stages of grief. I have gone through It all. And still I find myself where I was just at the start. It’s said, time heals. So here I’m waiting for that time to heal me. To heal me so that I can live my remaining time with little bit of joy. And it seems that time is never coming.
The funny thing about my heart is that the moment i let it open, the pain climbs in and steals away my peace. This realisation sends chills to me because honestly all i wanna do is let my heart out open and breathe with no fear of grief walking in like a thief.

Dear heart -
Calm down. I am gonna keep you underground. And if we both get lucky, perhaps someone will come and dig us out.
Love.

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About The Author
HudaFatima
HudaFatima
About This Story
Audience
All
Posted
1 Jul, 2019
Words
293
Read Time
1 min
Rating
Views
614

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