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I've Danced the Adumu
I've Danced the Adumu

I've Danced the Adumu

MBaileyMatt Bailey

I've danced the Adumu with the Maasai in Tanzania and they were hugely impressed by the height at which I could jump. I was a lumberjack up in Oregon for a season and a white-water rafting guide on the Zambezi. I ran with the bulls in Pamplona and have a four-inch scar on my left leg for the effort, I worked on an oil rig in the South China Sea and have fished salmon in the icy waters off Alaska where I grew a beard a foot long to protect against the cold. I caught a wild vicuna llama in the Bolivian Andes and made a hat out of its fur. I learnt to play the djembe drum in Mali, after a marathon three day session during which my spirit supposedly became one with the tree and animal of which the instrument was made, they made me a djembe of goat skin and dimba wood as a parting gift. I used my new found skills to good effect as a drummer at the Rio Carnival five years running.

I spent two years with an Mbuti pygmy tribe deep in the Congolese rainforest and I went walkabout in the harsh Australian outback tracing the aboriginal songline of the gecko. I played buzkashi in Afghanistan and just managed to get the headless goat-carcass over the line despite the determined efforts of the horsed opposition. I played the jew-harp amongst the cycad trees in the courtyard of the Queen of the Balobedu and I was captured by swashbuckling Somali pirates in the dangerous Gulf of Aden, despite being partially attracted to their lifestyle I decided to escape and managed to do so on my fifth attempt.

I joined a rebel brigade in Libya and fought for freedom, such was the fearlessness with which I strode into battle and such were my mighty deeds that I became one of the Seven Lions of Libya. Scorning any weapon I wrestled a polar bear in the freezing Arctic snow because he tried to steal my fish, I crossed the vast Sahara desert with my camel Jamaal and had to carry him on my back half the way because he couldn’t, so he says, take another step - I only just made it myself. I traversed the wild Atlantic sea in a small skiff and fended off countless sharks with my broken paddle and a piece of rope, I befriended a blue whale on the journey and had some stimulating conversation which, to be honest, is what kept me going.

I wrote a book entitled ‘The Many Exploits of Huxley Jeffcot-Jones’ - it was a bestseller in sixty-two countries and it’s still going strong. I’ve been arrested in fifteen countries and been given awards in twenty-one. I speak eleven languages. I’ve done and been through so much I can barely remember half of it. They say Hercules has nothing on me.

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About The Author
Matt Bailey
About This Story
4 Apr, 2019
Read Time
2 mins
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