“Momma I don’t want too….Yeah, I know but why do I gotta…What about Desirey?... Okay!” Jordan slammed the phone shut, got up and walked to the door. I didn’t know what was happening, probably another “dad call”. He looked at me and flashed a quick, sad smile then left. I didn’t see him for the rest of the night. Then there I was, all alone, thoughts yelling in my mind that soon fell quiet as I fell asleep. Morning came and I already made myself cereal and was watching SpongeBob. I spilled some milk when I heard the front door slam open against the wall and mumbled cursing. Mom’s home.
It’s my 10th birthday. At school, all my teachers tell me “Happy birthday Desirey”, but I feel like it’s only because they feel bad for me. Mrs. Steele is my favorite teacher because she always gives me candy. I always sit by my best friend Nicky in class and in lunch. Today she made me a friendship bracelet that spelled out my name. Later that day I was called into the office, family emergency.
It’s been eight years and now it’s two weeks until my 18th birthday, and I can’t wait to leave, I hate this place.
“Desirey!” I hear from downstairs
“What?!” I yelled back, no answer.”WHAT?!” still no answer. “Ughhhhhh” I stomp out of my room, go into the kitchen once again asking, “What mom?” a bit quieter. She’s on the couch, smeared lipstick, hardly clothed, half-empty bottle in her hand, smelling like a human cigarette. She looks at me with a dirty look.
“I caulled youuu” She slurred “Answer me when I call you,” She said loudly.
“What do you need?” I ask impatiently. She opens her mouth to answer me but as soon as she’s about to talk, I hear the bathroom door open and an older man with only underwear comes out. He walks past me and jumps on the couch right next to my mom. They whisper and giggle quietly to each other.
“MOM?!” I shout and regret it instantly. They both look at me, with eyes full of rage. I snap my head down at my feet to avoid their harsh gaze.
“I’m sorry! But Uh, Who do you think you are?! Huh? Thinking you can come live in my house and talk to me that way! I’m your mother!!” The cloud of smoke that filled the room was getting thicker and thicker. I look up at my mom and I see the man next to her sit up then stand.
“You best learn some respect missy” He started walking up to me slowly. “Ain’t no little girl like you would be safe out there in the real world.” He’s getting closer “It’s a scary, scary place” I feel his hand on my shoulder and instantly stiffen. He starts raising his hand, rubbing my shoulder then playing with my hair. “You need someone to help you out there,” I tell myself not to cry. I look at my mother. She’s lighting another cigarette. Not giving a single care. “Don’t cry sweetheart”, his face is close to my ear. I can smell the vodka and feel the heat from his breath. He has one hand on the back of my neck keeping it in place and the other grazing my cheek. He lightly placed his lips along my neck, pulling my hair to better expose my neck.
“Desirey, go get me my other lighter from my desk.” I quickly pull away, run to her room, shut the door and slide my back down it. I’ll do anything to get out of that man’s hands. I grab her lighter, exit the room hand it to her, and ran back to the safety of my own room as quickly as possible. I locked my door quietly before jumped out my room’s window.
I walked down the sidewalk by myself. I don’t know anyone well enough to call for plans. I lift my eyes and see Marion’s weathered sign. Marion’s was a cute little diner that was Jordan and I use to go when mom and dad fought. It was our favorite place. We’d always order a huge plate of fries and a milkshake. I really hate that they shut down. Things have changed.
Jordan was my older brother and... he’s dead. I always go back to that day in 2nd grade. It was my 10th birthday. I hadn’t seen Jordan from the night before nor my father. I was pulled out of gym class and was called into the principal’s office. When I got there my mother was sitting in the chair sobbing. I slowly walked in not understanding what was going on.
“Mom..?” is all I said for everyone to acknowledge I was in the room. My mom looked up, cleared her throat, wiped her eyes and thanked the principle before grabbing my hand and taking me to the car. My mom scared me that day. We almost hit a lot of other cars.
When we got home she threw her keys at the wall, walked to her room and locked herself in. I only saw her twice in those four days and each time all she did was walked to the fridge and grab as much alcohol as her weak arms could carry before locking herself in the room again. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know where my dad was or why Jordan hadn’t shown up. Not until my aunt Noami came over. She hugged me and asked me how I was, which I, of course, answered honestly. I was confused and sad, my mom was crying and I hadn’t seen my brother. She started crying softly and shaking her head.
“Where’s your mom?” She asked and I pointed to her room. She stood up straight and walked to the room. She knocked and called through the door. My mom walked out and broke down crying. They both fell to the floor, crying intensely. Mom kept screaming and I, stood there watching it all clueless. Wish I still was clueless about it all, about my father.
My father will always be a drunk! All he ever does is drink and anyone who tries to help gets hurt or killed. My dad always was crazy when drunk, he would say whatever was on his mind and then some. Long story short he’d say and/or do the wrong things to the wrong people. Whenever my brother heard of it, he’d always follow my dad. Not only because wanted to keep him from getting killed but because he saw how worried mom got. She’d even call him at times. He always was there. And after the last guy who tried to hurt my dad, everyone knew not to mess with Jordan.
One night my dad went outside to smoke a cigar. He was at the Shellys Gas Station, just outside of town. Jordan, after getting another call from our mother, was only a few parking spots away. Close enough to see and hear everything but too far to be seen. Everything was calm and quiet for the next hour or so. That was till you heard the heavy engines making their way down the road. A group of men emerged from the large vehicles and circled around my dad. Being his drunk self he was confident he could take them. Also, he happened to have a AR 15 hidden under the outside display. Once all the men had gathered together, there were about forty-five to fifty of them all about to attack our dad. Something about my dad owing them money I think. Jordan snuck in behind the store, trying to find a way to get his dad out of this. As he was thinking, he heard a gunshot. He ran around the corner to see who had been shot, hoping it wasn’t his dad. As he turned the corner he saw his dad holding up the rifle and a man falling to the ground holding his chest. More gunshots are fired at the group of men. Gunshot after gunshot. yell after yell.
“DAD!” Jordan yelled, trying to snap his father out of it. But he wouldn’t stop. Jordan slid out from behind the wall walking near him and without a glance, Jordan stopped. He froze where he was standing and lifted his hand to his chest. He fell to the ground hand still in place along with the other men. As soon as dad saw, he dropped the gun and ran to Jordan side.
“JORDAN? JORDAN! WAIT NO! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean too!! I’m sorry Jordan!!!” He yelled over and over until his face was lit up from red, white and blue lights. Police officers came and flooded the area handcuffing man after man. Taking them in. Taking my, now somewhat sober, father with them.
I always thought about my father, maybe some guy was going after Jordan and he missed or maybe a guy got to close to him and bumped his gun. Maybe my father wouldn’t have killed the only family member who actually cared. Maybe I wouldn’t hate my father so much. They gave him life in prison, I kinda wish they would just take his life. He took so many including his own son’s. He never was a good dad. He’d only be at the house when he needed a place to stay. I don’t even know why my mom stayed with him. He writes letters to me every now and then, I read some of them, others I just throw away. Guess it just depends on my mood.
After walking around for about an hour, I realized I just walked in a circle and am now back at my house. I grabbed the mail and walked in. The house was quiet but I had to check each room just to make sure no one’s home. No one was.
“Bill, bill, junk mail, collage stuff huh yeah cuz that’s gonna happen,” I said. Then I saw a cheap, white envelope and instantly know who It’s from. It’s probably a card from my father, wishing me a happy birthday and that he’s sorry for killing his son, you know the usual. The odd thing is, this letter feels a lot heavier than the others. I want to open it to find out why, but I take it up to my room put it on my bookshelf and go get ready to make lunch.
Author Notes: Please give criticism. First real story I've written.