Living Hell

I'm just an ordinary girl from Canberra which is the capital city of Australia. My name is Mertria I like writing stories and my secret hobby is writing songs. I'm now 17 but in 6 months I'll be 18 so I will finally be able to move out because my parents (mother and the devil she calls her boyfriend) doesn't want me moving out until then (They're unbelievable). I've lived here my hole life but no matter how hard I try there's something about this place which makes me feel uncomfortable and not wanted. I had a boyfriend called Ike but I called him Kay we were been dating for 2 years but he started acting weird but any way off the point. I'm the cheerleading captain for our school but I'm not the typical queen of the school girl cause I like to keep a low profile but with that I don't know how I was chosen to be the cheerleading captain. Also I have many, many secrets that I've hid and still hiding from everyone and not even my parents or Kay knew them and when I say secrets I mean secrets like not that I fancied anyone or that I have stollen money from my parents or I have drunk alcohol at a younger age then should, well you get the idea now but my secrets are not typical secrets. If the secrets get out that will be the end of me and I actually mean the end of me. No kidding. Or my mother for not knowing what's been going on and well the devil I don't care what happens to him because he's put me in a hell so I want him to go into a hell but I don't want my mother getting caught up in something that is nothing to do with her. My best friend is called Epona she has been there for me but she doesn't know a lot of my secrets still. She's helped me through surgeries that I've had to go through because of the devil but I feel terrible for lying to her about why I had to go through the surgeries. Anyway that's a bit about my life and me.

I'm not the type of person to go round calling people names but my mothers boyfriends name is the devil which I know is bad because you shouldn't call people names but what he's done he deserves that name and worse. This is how it all came along...........

My parents got a divorce when I was two so I stayed with my mother but when I was 11 she got a boyfriend which she is now engaged to. I don't mind my mother having A boyfriend but I mind her having THIS one!!! I've never told anyone about this not even my mother but since I was 13 he has been abusing me so every night before my mother gets home he used to beat me up and when she got home and I had bruises on me he just said that I tripped on the stairs or something like that. Sometimes she would take the excuse but other times she would come to me and ask but I would repeat what he said is true like it was another language the I knew off by heart. When I was 15 he took it up even more one night when my mother was away on a business trip he came in to my room and ...... I really don't want to say it but .....… he raped me and now every time my mother is away or passed out or when ever she's not around basically he does it....….. I get so scared of what he will do if I tell anyone so I keep it to myself. This is my living hell.

School has been the only safe place I can count on, no one talked to me because I reject them. I walk through the halls with no glances and no comments not like it was when I was known. And since now I'm not known, Ike dumped me but Epona is still my friend but we don't see each other very often because I sent her away because she shouldn't be hanging around with someone like me. I'm now only a loner but that's what I like.

I got to school and headed to my first class but on the ways saw a few people started to give me glances so I became scared because for under 5 years no one has noticed me. What's happened now for them to look at me? My skirt isn't tucked into my tights, my shoes are the same as everyone's, my clothes don't have stuff down them. I don't know what it is so I carry on but now everyone has turned around and is looking at me. I can't bear it so I decided to run to the closest bathroom. 'Why me?' I think when I'm about to come out there was a knock at the toilet stall door.

"W-Who is there?" I said

"I'm Ashley." She replied

"Why do you want to talk to me? And why is everyone staring at me?"

"YOU DONT KNOW WHY THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOU!!!???"

"No..."

"Are you serious!?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I knew. Would I?"

"Oh. Can you please come out so I can talk to you."

"Fine.... Just please don't make fun off me....."

"Why would I make fun of you?"

"Cause everyone one else does...."

"Well I'm not like them and I moved here a moth ago. All the popular girls want to be so called friend but I said I don't want to be friends with people like them!"

"Ok..." I say whilst opening the door with hesitation.

"See it wasn't that bad to come out."

"Well you try and do it in my place with everyone making fun of you and your mothers boyfriend be...sorry...ignore what I just said!"

"What were you going to say about your mothers boyfriend? It sounded bad!"

"I wasn't going to say anything!!!! Now! Why is everyone staring at me!!??"

"Oh yes. Umm well there has been a rumour going around that umm that you umm...."

"OH MY GOD!!! Spit it out already so I can go!!"

"Sorry.....well the rumour was that you and Jack Whitewood-"

"WAIT DID YOU JUST SAY THE JACK 'WHITEWOOD' THE MOST POPULAR BAD BOY IN SCHOOL!!!!!"

"Yes I did now please let me finish. Anyway they keep saying that you and him are a thing."

"WHAT!!! Can you please just repeat what you just said and think to yourself can low life person like me go out with someone like him!!!!"

"Umm do you want the truth or not? And anyway don't call your self low life it's not right"

"Life's not right and I want the truth!"

"Well personally I think that you and him could be a thing but all you need to do is believe in yourself."

"Well how can I believe in myself in the situation I'm in."

"It's not that bad."

"I'm not talking about this I'm talking about what else is going on at home."

"Oh what is going on at home?"

"Nothing! Nothing is going on! I have to go! Bye!" I say running out.

"Ok see you around them." Ashley says standing there alone.

'God she is weird no wonder no one talked to her but there is something in her voice and eyes that says she is going through something quite bad and I know it's to do with what's going on at home also I'm pretty sure that she was going to say that here mothers boyfriend beats her.' Autry thought whilst walking to her first lesson.

The day went by but every time I walk past people they look at me then whisper something to the person next to them. I keep wanting to go up to Jack and ask if he knew about this so in the end I swallowed my pride and when up to him.

"H-Hey. I-I'm M-Mertria...." I say stuttering at everything and now he thinks I'm a complete idiot.

"Hey. How are you?" Jack says putting on a smile then turned around to his mates and glared at them then straight away they walked away.

"I-I was fine b-but now I'm not c-cause people are s-saying that w-we are...."

"Oh. That. I was sticking up for you cause Audrey and her 'minions' were saying that no one will ever like you and that you are just a trash bay."

"W-W-What......" I say trying to keep my tears from rolling down my cheek.

"Umm. Do you want to go somewhere a little more private?"

"Ummm..... I don't mind."

"Ok well. I do so follow me."

"O-ok." I say following him to some stairs that I haven't noticed before but that's probably because they are hidden by curtains. Soon we find our selves on the roof.

"W-What are we doing up here?" I say

"I come here all the time if I need to be alone and this is were I go if I want to miss class but still be in school so I don't have to put up with my mum cause she is always home and if I'm not in school then God nows what will happen! Anyway the reason why I said that we are going out is because-"

"What it was you who said that not just some random roomer??"

"Oh. I didn't tell you did I? Any way I did say that but it was because Audrey was saying that you will never be good enough for anyone and that's why you end up with bruises on you most days cause you get beat up by people and your parents don't care about it and you so they leave it be. But I think that what they were saying was wrong so I said to them that we are going out and you are actually nice and caring but you just don't show it cause you are afraid of what people will say. I hope you don't mind me saying that."

"Oh well I do care!! I preferred it went no one noticed me and I don't care what they say about me behind my back the are just idiots and are insecure about them selves so they make others feel worse."

"I'm so sorry but can we please keep the act that we are dating. I would actually like to get to know you."

"Fine we can keep it going but I didn't know what was going on before so I'm going to start acting like I'm not stupid and not run if anyone looks at me also I really don't think you should get to know me cause I'm stupid and I don't know any of the newest things!"

"Oh well I'm going to get to know you with or without your full interest. What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"You are now. I'm taking you out for a 'date'. so we can get to know each other and make it look real."

"Well ok but no messing around and if you try to pull anything on me I'm out."

"Deal. Now I'll meet you here after school. Please don't bale because you seem like a nice girl."

"Fine. See you later." I said and then walked of in the same direction I came in.

Author Notes: This might be a bit incorrect but if you have ways I can change it I'm open-minded.

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