Lost Child

"Lost Child"
You are my father.
And yet you don't act like one.
You say you love us.
But you are never around.
I used to be your 'little girl'
But then you met her.
You fell for her.
You love her.
You married her.
You started a family with her.
She gave birth to two beautiful little girls.
That I'm proud to call my sisters.
But the thing is you forgot us.
You forgot me.

You started ignoring us.
You started to pay more attention to them.
You started to pretend we didn't exsit.

I feel like we are a mistake you made.
I feel like you don't want us.

I used to love going to yours for the holidays.
I used to be so excited to see you.
We got to spend 2 weeks with you.
But the thing is it started to feel like I was only there because it was part of your agreement.
I bet you don't know this but I went into depression.
I started self harming.
I cried myself to sleep some nights.
Because all I could think of was the fact that we where replaced.
But I got back on my feet.
I stopped the harming.
I stopped the crying.
And I learned to live with it.
I remember it was a month before my 16th birthday.
And I asked you to fly down for it.
But instead I got a message saying you had no money.
And the sad thing is.
Is that a couple of days after my birthday.
Which by the way sucked because not one of "Friends" went to.

I saw pictures of you and them.
You where all smiling and happy.
Yous all went to Dream World.
And by the looks of it yous where having the time of your life.

But the sad thing was not that long ago you told me.
That you had no money to fly down.
That you where 'broke'.
but you had enough money to buy 3 tickets which would of came up to at least $150 or more.
Buy food.
Buy tickets for rides.
Buy show bags.

That whole day would of cost the same amount of money to fly down.
To your DAUGHTERS 16th birthday.
A day when a father was meant to be there.
To spoil her with gifts.

But all I got from you was a small.
Square card saying.
How 'sorry' you are for not being able to go.
And a $100 check.

All I got from you was that.

You say your my dad, and that you love me.
But your not.
You are a disapointment to me.
And your other children.

She may love you now.
But somewhere down the road she is going to realize how little you cared.

No child should go through what you put me and my siblings through.
And all I can say is, I hope I never have to speak to you again.
I hope I never have to deal with you again.
I hope I never have to see you again.

When you see what you have done.
Don't try and make it right.
Because its already to late.
You lost your first family.
You lost your childern.

I hope your happy, for what you have done.
Because there is nothing in this world that can make me forgive you.
You hurt me.
And I don't think I can go through that pain again...

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