Every morning I look out of my window at the deep blue sky, which sometimes rages and shows its teeth with the blackened clouds, and then the storm comes. The trees, the grass, everything is watered by the tears of the sky and then comes the rainbow. Every morning, my heart and my mind wander to a house by the sea which is located just ten steps from the sea. I see myself there, waking up early in the morning and breathing in and smelling the fresh wind of the sea. I start my day with a cup of coffee and a little song. A table, a towel, my laptop and I am heading to the beach! However, I can’t write anything. My mind and my thought are drifting away by the breeze. The summer breeze blows on my face and I feel a strange pleasure. I want to close my eyes and enjoy the music of the waves. I am trying to understand which melody that is and I believe that it is the symphony For Elise, Beethoven's twenty-fifth.
I enjoy it, I let myself go ... My stretched hands can touch the pebbles on which I have placed my towel. Between the sand and the pebbles I put my palms and discover shells, which I adore. I start collecting them and I have already thought of the picture I am going to draw in order to give life to them. I do not find a reason to write because I have all day to finish my project. Writing can wait. The unconcern from picking the shells is here. They look at me and challenge / invite me. I choose the most beautiful and the strangest and I put them on my towel. Suddenly a strange wind begins to blow. I start to pack my things quickly and run home laughing about this unexpected event. And suddenly I go back to reality, back to my window. It was still another figment of my imagination, but not anything impossible. What's holding me back and I haven't gone far yet?
I am immersed in the dream again… I am high on a mountain peak, I am a proud eagle and I am gazing at the mountain peaks around me and in front of me. My baby eagles have built their nests there. They do not need me, but why am I stuck here and do not fly away? They may not need me since they have their own wings and they fly high and I am proud of them, but I am always nervous in case they get hurt and break a wing. I always think of taking care of them and healing their wounds. That is what I think of and stay alone on the top, longing deep in my soul to fly away, to other places; To see new beauties, my eyes to be filled with different images. I am jealous of the other eagles that fly away, free from such thoughts. How much I need their wings!
Today I fluttered my wings and flew. I found myself on the beach which is very close and yet I despise it, while I adore it. What contradictory feelings! Contempt, worship, love, hate ... What prevails? Depending on the emotion we feed our soul every day. The feeling for me is love for everything, my family, the strangers, the friends, the well-meaning and the vicious people. I love the sea, the wind, the birds, the grass. I feel that I belong to this greedy world where everyone tries to grab your laughter away, your happiness, your beautiful and pure feelings and hurt you.
I hear the sound of the waves splashing at my feet. The sun caresses my face, the smell of the sea in my nostrils calms my mind. Where was the pain with which I woke up in the morning? It left along with my endless sadness. I return to the present again, a abrupt landing to the daily routine again.
Author Notes: Anna lazarou
Life has no meaning when you lose the illusion that you are eternal.
Jean-Paul Sartre, 1905-1980, French philosopher
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United States • 93 years old