“~Lost a piece of me~”

By Athena Mewes

Love: such a tender, affectionate word…Love: breaks so easily…Love: can be swept from right under you…Love: you know what I mean?
I lost a piece of me.
Monday, September seventh, two thousand and nine, that day I will remember for the rest of my life. It was like any ordinary day. I woke up bright and early in the morning, drank my morning coffee, and was headed to work with my dad, not expecting anything. I mean what could happen on a Monday? The whole week was still ahead of me.
“Sooooo…I have some news to tell you, and I don’t know how you’re going to react.” He said with a sheer grim look across his face, hesitating to start the truck. I just knew something was up then. Nothing good could come from this. This morning now started to feel a little gauche and awkward, it just wasn’t the same.
“Oh gosh. What now?” I said with uncertainty in my breath. A long moment of silence accompanied us. “Grandma passed away. She died this morning. They said it was unexpected. ” This kind of news was out of my depth. “No! Your lying!” I cried in disbelief. I mean I wasn’t prepared for this kind of situation. It wasn’t something funny to joke around about, this was serious! The surreal gaze in his eyes told me that he was telling me the profound truth.
I just couldn’t fathom the idea of loosing someone so close to me. She did so much for me. She was there when no one else was; she believed when no one else would, she cared when no one else would. “Wow, I don’t know what to say dad…I’m so sorry! She just didn’t deserve it…” The words rolled off my tongue with immense skepticism.
“Yeah well think about it Athena, even though I don’t want her gone, she’s in a better place now, she isn’t in pain anymore, she just isn’t suffering like she used to.” I tried to quickly reassure myself of all that has failed me in life, but it’s just become so hard. I still wait around for her calls, but she never seems to dial. I genuinely feel like I didn’t spend as much time with her as I could have.
I was so broken. A wreck for a couple months. I’m still not all the way over all that has happened but I have all the good memories to reside on. The one true love of my life was gone. She’s an angel now like she had always been. My day will come that I will sit up there with her and look over the world and see what a beautiful place it really can be. We all truly take the good things in life for granted; we have to learn that that special someone or something will not always be there, so cherish it as long as you can!
“After you have wept and grieved for your physical losses, cherish the functions and the life you have left.”
~Morrie Schwartz
Life never throws things in your path that you cannot overcome. It only makes us stronger right? Be an over achiever! It’s almost been a year and it still feels like yesterday my dad was telling me the shocking and painful news. She truly meant the world to me.
Love: such a spiteful, malicious word…Love: crumbles under the pressure of loving someone so much…Love can be gone right before your eyes…Love: is such a deep, uncontrollable emotion that can be so painful…but without it, what would life be?
I lost a piece of me.

Rest in Peace,
Cathy Jean Whitten
1949 - 2009

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