Love Is Like Pesticide

To know that you didn't mean much to him hurts. That you put so much work and effort into becoming something special and he just didn't try, hurts. Telling me that you love me one day and in a week you just don't love me anymore, hurts a lot because you made me believe that us could have happened. It hurts so much because I still love you and believe that you will come back to me, no matter what my friends tell me, I still don't want to let you go.

The day you told me you loved me and in a week you disappeared, that triggered me because if you love someone you just don't disappear on them. You saw me around school and didn't bother to say hi, when I was there for you! You had problems and I understood. I was there for you whenever you would call me crying at three am in the morning! When you felt worthless, I was there telling you how you made everyone smile and feel good about themselves. You made everyone happy, but yourself. You needed me and I needed you.

It's been 5 months and I still can't and won't let you go. Why? Well because I fell like a idiot for someone who I love so much, gosh. I miss how we would call each other everyday and talk for hours, how you would always be there for me when I broke down at night, how you made me feel so god damn special, but what I miss the most is when you would tell me you loved me. I miss everything about you except our arguments.

Our arguments broke the fork out of me. When you didn't want to admit that you didn't love me anymore, but I pushed you to say it because I didn't want to be lied to. Right when you said, " I can't say it, I don't want to hurt you." Broke me silly because you did admit that you didn't love me anymore. I cried infront of the whole classroom and I just couldn't stop myself from crying. I was so mad at the moment and I still didn't say anything to hurt you because I STILL LOVED YOU.

You asked me if we could be friends. You also told me that you didn't want to lose me and that you really wanted us to be friends. I said, "No, how can I be friends with someone who said they were never going to hurt me but ended up doing it and broke me completely?" About a month ago I texted you, that I wanted to be friends again. And you seemed okay with it. It doesn't really feel like we are friends. Everything is the same, you still ignore me, still don't say hi, the only thing that has changed is that you don't need me, but I do. I need you. I'm breaking and you're not here. You were the only person in my life who I thought was never going to leave me or hurt me. I really wished you would call me and fix me. After all what happened between us. I still love you and miss you a lot that it's suffocating me at night, all i'm asking is for you to love me again because when you did my life was much better with you in it.

Author Notes: Don't mind me, I just woke up from a nap and decide to write my love story...I mean my sad story.

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