If I had known that some secrets could tear a family apart, crush a sister’s heart, kill innocent souls and betray parents trust, I would have never done it!
Drops of warm blood and tears tip off the edge of my nose, into the icy sink below, burning my wounded face. I traced the cuts and bruises with my smoky, burnt fingers, slowly, as I reach my stomach. It grumbled. My cheekbones and ribcage were sticking out, as if in a war with my skin, trying to tear me apart. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I felt like someone was pulling at my veins, muscles and bones, ripping them apart. The pain was excruciating. I grabbed my short, filthy hair, pulling it side to side like a tree in the wild wind, screeching and squeezing my cheeks with my dirty, razor sharp nails as drops of bright, scarlet, smooth, metallic blood slowly teared at my skin, oozing out, finding its way to my mouth.
It had been weeks since my parents had left to drop Bianca to mental hospital - my innocent, adopted sister. Those nights Bianca moaned and yelled at me, chocked me until I suffocated. She hit everyone. Mom, dad and herself. I had made her insane, by telling her who she was. An orphan. It was my fault. I’m heartless. The thought echoes in my head as the picture frames on the walls haunt my soul. Shaking tremendously, tears streaming down my cheeks. The abrupt feeling of my heart being speared away comes shooting back at me, the broken glass pieces piercing away at my feet.
‘CRASH!’ went the sound of the frames as they hit the tiled, frosty floor. The waves of pincer-like pain keep pummeling my brain as my body was dragged down, down onto the inky, cold depths of my ocean floor, choking me. ‘CRASH! RIPPPPP!’ As I shredded the photo, slowly. The vibes it gave were heart-wrenching. I lay on the isolated ground. Glass stabbing me, but the pain was numb, for I had experienced too much to suffer from a carpet of glass shards, as I watched hours fly by, I yelled in pain, misery and agony.
‘COME BACK, WHAT...HAVE…YOU…DONE…TO…ME….come…back…coe...ba…co….’ tears gushed down my face.
They weren’t going to listen. It was my fault, and this regret would kill me. Slowly. I closed my eyes trying to shut out the world as I dragged myself to the balcony, gripping a small knife, leaving a trail of blood as I peered over the railing.
They had died weeks ago in a car crash Janet. They aren’t coming back, because of you Janet. You’re heartless Janet. Heartless.
I climbed on top of the railing, trying to keep my balance. Brought the knife to my left wrist and dug it slowly into my swollen corpse. The pain erupted through my spine. Shaken, I lost my grip and fell.
I remembered teasing Bianca – as I saw the ground coming closer, like a car reaching its destination, the wind slapping my face - not realizing, what I had become. An orphan. - I closed my eyes as the last words barely escaped my lips.
‘I’m sorry, I’m heartless’ – regret had finally killed me.