Here I am again thinking about all the trouble we caused. All the endless hours of doing something we liked. So many times that we laughed together the stupid things you guys said. I wish we could go back but we can't turn time. I can't just stay in my happy memories all my life there are new times any you are gone.
I hope that no realizes that I try not to break down every night. I miss you guys so much that I can't stay away from the memories they chase me down each night.
Why did you have to grow up? Why did I? Why did we have to go on different paths but both of them paths of loneliness?
So here I am again hoping that each night I don't remember that the memories will never surface that they never come to light. My friends still laugh about things we did but I have a hard time laughing the laugh is not real. I'm only laughing at them for the ridiculousness that they think we caused. They thought that we were exactly alike. Well at least one of the people that lives only in my memories.
They say I have never felt real loss that I am still so innocent that I could never understand them. But I do understand them I do hear what they say. They think I should hide behind the innocence that is only surface. So I feign innocence. I feign the perfect life but it isn't life isn't and it never will be.
So I sit with the memories hoping that they will come to life but I just feel them slip away deeper into the unknown that is the depths of the mind. I still see glimpses of the me I used to know but that are almost gone. And I no longer know myself.
Author Notes: Just remembered a few people that I miss dearly because I went to the place where we would usually see each other.