Merci, Nae Fear

Oh twisted fate, oh beautiful
Oh so unpredictable fate, my dear,
The thing which is a blessing, merry
Is one of the only things I fear.

The innocent, puny droplets
And the grey, comforting sky,
And the threatening roar of thunder
And homeless innocents' cry,
And deep-buried memories of sorrow
Which I can't forget, even if I try,
This beauty, this blessing frightens me,
I don't know why, I don't know why, I don't know why.

The minty wind strokes my hair
As I watch the stormy rain,
From far...
The sight of lightning jolts my brain
My effectors numb in invisible pain
I step back... My efforts go in vain
The drizzle and wind approach again...

I didn't step in, cautious of hygiene
Cautious of hygiene, huh?
Excuse, it's been.
Cuz the buried fear is still green.

I didn't wanna fight,
Trying to escape–"Let's ignore"
Although I knew
I was nowhere near the shore of freedom,
The shore of ease,
My mind, it tore
My thoughts – cease.
I realize, am no longer sane
Then the wind approaches me,
Again...

Like a mother embraces me
The brine expresses me,
The fear that suppresses 'me'
That distresses, is all cuz of me...
Me running away.

The thoughts run like wild dear
Under the fear
Of lion or maybe
Like the sun's rays over vast oceans.
"Occasions/ situations, conditions, and emotions
Are all connected", they say,
"And one who fights against the fear
Undergoes 'Evolution ' ."

But digesting all that, in that state?
My heart beating faster with the sound
Of each droplet hitting the ground,
Struggling to breathe on thinking all that could happen,
Head aching, nauseous, dizzy, panting...
It isn't gonna end,
Calm down, people like me mend
Not bend so as to end
Some suffering.
Wait,
Why don't turn the cloud into a friend?

A friend – I named 'Grey'
So whenever it rained, I used to say–
"Hey, Grey, why you pouring?
Are you mad? Why you roaring?
No replies? Are you ignoring?
Come on, I am not that boring."

The stupid talks, the funny talks,
Without replies– the weird talks.
They make me forget
Or better– accept.

Now I enjoy the drops and heavy rain
The stormy wind– has joy, not pain,
The clouds racing, like an event
I am content, with a friend like Grey.

So beautiful – like cotton candy
Lightens mood, eases the mind
It's so caring, it's so kind –
I hate no replies though😂😂.
Flying away like a paper plane
And the wind approaches again.

This time, like a best friend
On an occasion
Falling droplets play drum
With passion
We all dance together
In this situation – that I used to fear,
The situation that was once my enemy,
The situation which now is
A celebration.

Author Notes: You won't be afraid if you 'don't want' to

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