Mistake

Mistake

The mistake I made, it's never going to heal. I was drowning in a whirlpool of agony and despair, waves lashing at the benumbed shores of my fluxed mind as I failed my feet in the ever-shifting sand of trust and benevolence. Our friendship was unanchored, deprived of trust and honesty. The sun of our friendship had finally set. Waves of betrayal submerged our powerful engine in the ravenous ocean of peril as our boat sunk deeper into the malicious sea of anger. Nothing could describe how much pain I felt. How much sorrow I had to deal with. How much regret, anger, fear. All those years of helping, winning, losing, failing, triumphing together faded away like dust. The scar digging deep into my heart, it’s never going to heal.

I wanted to dissolve like paper, melt away into the night, do anything to stop the perpetual pain suffocating my soul into shatters of shame. I wanted to bury myself in disgrace and guilt. Minutes ago, my world was a meadow of joy, happiness, and fun. Serenity filled my days but now. Darkness and gloom were the only things that existed. Fear dashes down my spine, gripping me like a magnet to another. Why had I made this decision? Why had I been so careless? If I stayed quiet forever, nothing useful would come out of me, but I could not just blatantly tell the truth to my friend or what used to be my friend. What should I do?

No, I couldn’t just vanish from the existence of life. I needed to be brave and conquer my fear. Even if it is hard, sometimes embarrassing. If I didn’t, what else could I do? Admitting to the truth is the basic fundamental for surviving. I needed to remember that. If I did disappear, I would miss out on the exquisite panoramas of wildlife, flora and the occasional rustic building. I then couldn’t taste the sweet ambrosial of the country whipping by. Life then would be good. I would no longer be trapped by the heavy restraints put by my parents. My spirits and I would be lifted.

I stood up, shaking my head in frustration. Why hadn't I done this before? Then I smiled. ‘Maybe, just maybe, the scar is going to heal.’

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