Morning Coffee

Detectives Kepler and Ellis debated the details of one of the strangest cases they'd ever handled as they waited outside the courtroom for the jury's verdict.

“I think you mean ‘justifiable homicide,’ don’t you?” Kepler asked.

“No, I said it right the first time. I believe it was ‘justifiable murder.’ And I’m sure we’ll find the circumstances will bear out that premise,” replied Ellis.

It all started when a domestic dispute spiraled out of control. Apparently, a high-powered executive was charged with murdering her husband, all because he failed to make her morning coffee.

According to charging documents, the defendant’s outburst resulted from the intense pressure of her job, compounded by the total lack of understanding and support from her lazy husband.

So far, her lawyer had put up a credible defense. Besides, as the attorney argued, the lazy bum had it coming. Retired or not, he should have made his wife a cup of coffee, like he did every other morning, as she got ready for work.

On that fateful morning, as the investigation revealed, the husband’s addiction to Facebook, Twitter, and whatnot distracted him from his morning routine. The defendant couldn't stand around waiting for the coffee to brew. She had to bring home the bacon. However, owing to his lack of attention, she’d be lucky to arrive on time for the quarterly board meetings, which always started promptly at eight o’clock.

The beleaguered executive was nothing if not punctual. She organized and chaired the board meetings whenever members flew into town from various international locations. She always prepared each member’s briefing package well ahead of time, scheduled departmental presentations, and arranged the post-board meeting cocktail hour and dinner for that evening. Board directors demanded efficiency and punctuality. Like demigods, they expected to be feted while visiting corporate headquarters.

Keeping his voice low, Kepler said, “The woman has pure ice coursing through her veins. Did you see how calm she was under cross-examination? An opportunity to rid herself of an unwanted husband popped up and she jumped on it. She definitely killed him in cold blood.”

“Then explain to me why people become more rational after they’ve had their morning jolt? You know it’s true. No one should be held accountable for their actions until after they’ve had at least a couple of mugs.”

“Be serious. The law is clear; there’s no room for ambiguity. The jury’s gonna come back with a conviction for murder in the second degree.”

“No way, and here’s why.” Ellis was just warming up for his defense of the seemingly indefensible. “Her lawyer’s pleading temporary insanity citing the tremendous pressures of her job and their deteriorating domestic relationship. It’s a clear case of antagonism with intent.”

“Did you just make that up?”

“I read it somewhere.” Ellis continued, undeterred. “The husband willfully antagonized his wife. There she is trying to make a living for both of them, and, although retired, her husband completely neglected his morning responsibilities. His one job was to make a decent cup of coffee to help his wife ease into another hectic day. I fully concur; the guy had it coming.”

“That’s a bit extreme. I get that she was under duress. Since when is failure to make coffee a pretext for–what did you call it, ‘justifiable murder?’ Nice try.”

Ellis pushed his argument for all it was worth. “Case in point, at our office, when the chief arrives each morning. Have you ever known anyone brave enough to bother him before he’s had that first cup of brew?”

“Now that you mention it . . . “

“Some folks are morning people; they wake up all bright-eyed and cheerful. And then there’s the rest of us. Until we get some go-juice flowing in our system, it’s advisable to steer clear. Under the right circumstances, I believe any one of us could react the same as this poor woman.”

“You call her the ‘poor woman,’” Kepler protested. “I concede she was in a grouchy mood that morning; worried about her high-and-mighty board meeting. But it still doesn’t justify her actions.”

“Okay, hotshot. Tomorrow morning, I dare you to start the morning briefing before the chief’s had his first cup of joe. Let’s see how long you last. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

After a moment of reflection, Detective Kepler conceded. “You’re right, of course. The chief has to ease into his morning routine before he’s even semi-approachable.”

“And that’s my point! It’s the same for this woman. She’s probably a very pleasant person once you get to know her. There are limits to what a person can stand but for some, coffee deprivation could be considered beyond human endurance.”

“Personally, I’ve never acquired a taste for coffee, so I can’t relate to this line of reasoning. It’s a lot of nonsense if you ask me.”

“It’s my considered opinion that one’s propensity for violence is reduced in direct proportion to the amount of coffee one consumes.”

“Oh, thank you, professor!” Kepler rolled his eyes. “Very profound indeed.”

“Keeping in mind how the boss has reacted in the past, surely you can understand how these things happen. Wanna bet the jury sees it my way?”

Suddenly, the double doors to the courtroom opened. A bailiff stepped into the hall and announced that the jury had reached a verdict. Attorneys, police, reporters, and everyone with an interest in the case filed into the crowded courtroom.

The defendant was escorted to her seat. As she settled in, she caught Kepler staring at her and returned his gaze with a clear-eyed, untroubled look on her face.

“Yep. Cold as ice, that one,” Kepler whispered to his partner.

The defense attorney, a brusque, efficient woman, busied herself reviewing last minute notes as she prepared a response depending on which way the jury voted on her client’s fate.

As Kepler sat in the gallery, he recalled the non-existent, but often quoted ‘he needed killing’ defense, which, in effect, put the victim on trial. Wasn’t Texas famous for this defense? It was a cynical explanation of a jury’s decision to find in favor of the defendant despite all evidence to the contrary. Would that be the case here? Could the jury somehow empathize with the defendant, so much so that they rendered an acquittal?

The court was about to find out. The jury filed in and took their places. Some kept their eyes cast downward, others fixated on the judge as he entered, took his seat, and called the court to order. With the formalities out of the way, the judge solicited the jury's verdict.

# # # #

Leaving the courthouse, Ellis could not help but gloat. “Told you so.”

Kepler shook his head. "Who would have thought it? 'Justifiable murder’ is now case law. What’s next? Robbery with extenuating circumstances? The ‘I-had-to-have-it’ defense?”

“The jurors sided with the defendant. I can understand that. But I can also see where this could lead to abuse,” Ellis said.

Kepler said emphatically, "If this case is anything to go by, from now on I’m buying coffee for the whole office!”

“I’m with you,” Ellis said. “Why take chances?”

Author Notes: Thanks for reading my story. Any comments or feedback gratefully accepted.

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