Oh my dear mother, at the age of seven I lost you, I did not have time to taste your stroke neither your anger. After your loss, which really marked my life, your invisible presence has been following me until today. As I grew up I longed to have a mother, but maybe from up there you didn’t want to share me with any other woman... because for you I was always your "Vougiouklaki" and your "princess" as you used to say to the seamstress who created my beautiful dresses… you said that whatever was deprived from you your daughter should enjoy it. Mum, I remember the beautiful ribbons which were carefully ironed and then hung inside the closet where you had nailed a rope and you had them all there, and every morning you combed my hair and took care of my head... I remember when I went to school that my teacher used me as an example of cleanliness and hygiene.
But mum, I remember his surprise when I went to school sloppy with dirty nails and when he asked me why I was in that condition and I looked at him silently without a word coming out of my mouth and he heard the answer that he didn’t know from my classmates
“Her mother died, sir”
His silence and the caress on my head left this feeling forever
Mother, I did not have enough time to get bored of you, I did not have enough time to quarrel with you, to run after me like a girl, to teach me to watch out for mishaps, to talk to me about my first time ..
Mother, I never had a hug to rest; a hug to let go of my tears
I have never found a mother to replace you .maybe I did not want to
For many years I have been angry at you, because you left and you left me behind…where they never loved me … how did you manage to do that?
Now the only thing I feel is love for you my dear MOTHER because you did not enjoy anything
Your grandchildren have neither my first sufferings nor my graces and you would be proud of them because they have become wonderful people. Mother, they are after you since they are proud and generous.
I am proud that you left me the legacy of being a good person
Mother, I gave all your good things to my children generously
Mother, how much I would like you to be here and be proud of me, because despite the obstacles I came across in my life and the mean people without soul I managed to overcome everything.
I would love mother to see even once the love in your eyes when you would be proud of me …and to say that this girl is my princess…
Now you know now that I am a mother too. Mother and grandmother, but I will always miss you. Especially when I see flowers I always say I wish you were here. If you were here I would give you the most beautiful flowers and your grandchildren would give a pot with flowers for mother’s day.
How much I need you mum! I wish you were here when I was in pain when tears were running from my eyes and you took me in your arms and told me
‘Everything will be fine my princess”
My mother, let your soul rest, I know that you are always with me at every difficult moment and maybe one day we will see each other in another life in the life of angels…
Everyone says “many happy returns” but I will say “Enjoy life in heaven my mother”
And I will say “happy returns to all the mothers of the world”
And I will ask all these selfish creatures that are called children to love their mothers and take care of them with their goods and bads because if you lose them you will not have any call on your cell phone and you saying (oh my mother again…). You will not have any more (Are you alright my child?)) and this will make you wither. Love them every day and not once a year and take care of your angels as long as you have them alive. They won’t need you when they are dead.
Author Notes: Anna lazarou author a letter to the mother