My dreams are my own worst enemies

21st July 2021 - I dreamt about you again today. A dream that I forced myself to wake up from. I didn’t want to go back to sleep again because the pain was too much to bear.

23rd July 2021 - I think this is my 3rd time dreaming about you ❤️‍🩹 my heart is still aching. I want to tell you how I feel but I know we can’t be. I’m in constant battle to want to be there for you however at the same time want you to move on without me in the picture. I’m trying my hardest not to bug you so I’m just living each day as it comes. My dream was about you moving on with someone else. You met them online & they were a sales person for a Halloween shop. You looked happy so all I can do is to be happy for you but when I woke up I was hurting because the person I came to genuinely love will not be mine forever. I want to tell you how much I love you (crying while writing this) but I know no good will come of it so I’m just expressing my thoughts on here in the hopes that one day I can move on from you 💔

30th July 2021 - in the past few days, whenever I see something I seem to automatically relate it to you. Like the opening of a certain restaurant close to you. The first thing that came to my mind was to want to take you there so you can try my childhood experience. The ear candle that an online shopping had suggested and I’ve put it in my “saved for later” list. When I had my second jab, all I can think of was if you’ve had yours yet, if your ok & not had any side effects and if you did, I hoped that someone was there for you, taking care of you.

Author Notes: I’m still in a mess so bear with me while I try to sort my life out and maybe one day we can still be friends?

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