My Escape

I don’t have many friends

I tend to sit alone

Walk alone

Nothing new

I have my love

It’s not the same

I can’t be me

Parents don’t understand

But that’s what every teen states right?

That no one gets them?

3 years now in this state of mind

Can’t take it another day

When I got sick,

This extreme sadness hit me

Freshman year

It’s never been the same since

Didn’t feel love

Abandoned

Ashamed of myself

My body

If I had the chance to, I’d smash each mirror

Into a million pieces

Don’t care if I get bad luck

I’m already at my low point in life

Went to look for help

Everything got worse

Lost friends along the way

Each time, a deeper sadness hits me

Wanting to escape

Other times, I somehow feel normal

Like I can give my love what he deserves

It hurts when I can’t though

When I can’t give him what he deserves

He should just leave

He deserves better

So much better than me

I don’t know what he sees in me

I don’t know why anyone would bother sticking with me

Many people have worse lives than me, no doubt

Everyday I want to help

But it’s hard while fighting my own demons

People think I’m a rude person

That I have attitude

That that’s the reason I don’t really have friends

Thing is, they don’t know me

They don’t know why I seem that way

Think I’m making up a story

Maybe this is what this all is..

A story

A story of my life no one will ever read

No one will ever notice

Notice me crying myself to sleep

Every night

Wishing I could help my friend and boyfriend

I try each day to seem happy for him

Some days it works

Others, I just can’t hide it so well

I’m tired of hiding

I just want to be how I feel inside

Let it all out

I wish I could tell my own parents

They think it’s all a story

That I just want attention

All I want is to feel normal

Just for one day

Maybe someday I can escape all of this

I won’t have to hurt anymore

From abandonment

From my body image

From everything hurting me

From me hurting others

Everyday, I will look for that day

That will be the best day of my life: To escape.

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