My parents made me start going to therapy after Jacob and Ace died. I barely opened up to my therapist though. Her name was Dr. Brooks. She has blonde hair that is usually in a high ponytail and light green eyes. She has plain black glasses, and she's usually always smiling. I still see her sometimes. Every time I do, I find her smile more and more annoying. No one can be that happy. I know she gives everyone that award winning smile, but deep down she's just as broken as anyone else. Some days she can barely hide the tiredness behind her eyes.
I haven't told her about Jace. I haven't really told anyone about him. I figured my parents would think he's a bad influence, and Dr. Brooks would ask too many questions about him. I decided it would just be easier to not say anything. Jace had also asked me not to tell anyone about him. When I asked why he just told me he didn't see a reason to tell people.
I've been trying to put myself out more. I made some new friends who are pretty chill. We hang out a lot, but I still spend time with Jace.
Today we were hanging out in my bedroom. My door was locked so no one could come in and we were both on our phones. I was laying on my bed and Jace was on a big bean bag.
"Hey, look at this," Jace held up his phone for me to see.
"It's just a cow with a top hat," I look at the screen confused.
Jace scoffs. "He's gonna rule the world someday, and I don't think he'll be happy you called him that."
I roll my eyes. "Wanna do something?" I ask, putting my phone in my pocket and sitting up in my bed.
"Like what?" Jace puts down his phone to look at me.
"I don't know. Something besides sitting in my room."
He looks deep in thought. The same way Ace always looked whenever he was thinking.
"Let's go eat," He says, getting up from the beanbag.
He goes over to my window and begins climbing out. He uses the window to get in and out so my parents don't see him. I wait for him to climb down, then shut the window. I grab my wallet and go downstairs. Dad is in his office working and mom is on the couch reading.
"I'm going out," I say, not stopping to hear their reply. I lock the front door then get into my car. Jace sits down in the passenger's side and I start the car.
I park in the parking lot for Clarity Cafe and we walk inside. Clarity has breakfast, lunch, and a variety of different drinks. A bell above the door rings as we enter the cafe. One of the hostesses leads us to a table next to a window and we sit down. The host gives me a menu and walks away. I'm about to call her back over when Jace stops me.
"It's fine, I wasn't hungry anyway."
"You're the one who wanted to eat," I point out.
"Well I don't want to anymore," He turns away, looking out the window.
"That's not the point. The point is that she didn't even give you a menu. Like you were invisible," I tell him.
Jace flinches when I say invisible. He faces me, eyes cold.
"Just leave it alone," He stares at me for a moment, his ice blue eyes telling me to back off. He breaks eye contact to look back out the window.
I'm not really hungry anymore, so I flip the menu to the beverages page. I don't know why Jace lashed out like that. It was unusual for him to get angry about something like this. It was very unusual for him to get angry at me.
When the waitress arrives I order a hot chocolate. She writes it down, smiles, and leaves... Without asking Jace what he wanted.
We sit in silence for a bit. Although it isn't actually silent since there are conversations happening all around us, it still feels quiet without either of us speaking.
When my hot chocolate comes I thank the waitress and take a sip. It's delicious. The liquid travels down my throat warming me up inside. I look at Jace.
"Want some?" I ask, sliding the mug across the table to him.
His eyes glance at the cup then at me.
"I'm not thirsty," He snaps, getting up from his seat. I don't know why he's standing, but he answers my thoughts. "I'm going," He states. Jace doesn't even wait for me to respond, he just walks to the entrance of the cafe, swings the door open, and leaves.
I finish the rest of my hot chocolate, pay, and leave Clarity Cafe. I can't get the look Jace gave me out of my head. It was so unlike his laid back personality. Why didn't he care that the waitress ignored him? I really don't know what I did to upset him.
This was the first time Jace and I ever fought.
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