My Heart! How Still It Aches

HudaFatima

As I sit here on the terrace floor of my college building,

I can hear the distance sound of the vehicles moving,

The cold air kissing my cheeks,

The warmth of the Chill hugs me at my place of sitting,

I quietly stare at a silent chaos of the far end,

It feels peaceful to my grieving heart,

A fresh stream breaks again,

And envelopes me in a wet cane,

I can’t set it wild and free,

How embarrassing would it be?

For me to just start crying in strange company,

I have come to teach myself well,

On how not to shed a drop,

When people are around and I’m not at a secluded spot,

I check and recheck my watch,

‘15 more minutes’ my mind breaks,

I don’t know why It hurts so much,

When I had a quiet good a day,

Maybe it’s the happiness which loves me not,

Or maybe it’s me who knows not - how to keep the smiles warm,

Or maybe it’s my Mom,

Or maybe it’s my Dad,

Or maybe it’s both of them,

Who left me here and said their goodbyes,

I feel like a lost puppy,

Who knows not to whom to turn to,

When her mind gets heavy.

Author Notes: Some days are just harder than others. To live in a world without your Parents is kind of a ‘Break open my head and ripped out my heart’ hard.

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