My best friends girlfriend got pregnant and so they asked for me to be the godmother, so I said yes !
I was so excited about it, and this one saturday morning I went to shopping when my bf called that Susas water broke and they were on their way to the hospital, I was worried calculated time for the baby to born wasnt until next month.. I took a taxi to the hospital where I found Alex all worried cos susa was in a surgery and nobody had been informed anynews for him, I went to hug him saying it will be okay..
Finaly a nurse came to tell us that the surgery went fine and that susa and the baby were both fine, even though He was a premature baby, we went to see them and he was so tiny! he weighed on 300grams, and still he captured the hole room with his attendince. I have never seen anything so small and so beautiful. we stayed there the rest of the day just watching him. At the evening I called to my boyfriend to tell about the news he was rude to me and said he didnt feel like talking to me he rather went for a smoke.
I got hurt and not valued at all. So I cried a bit and returned to the room and bit later the babys monitor started to makeing noise.. Everything happened so quickly nurses came in and started to do something around the baby we were confused what the hell was happening ? some people came to take us away allu started yelling against even though it was useles.. we waited and waited for some news but nothing.
after a few hours the doctor came to us and said "The baby was too small to survive over a day, we did everything we could.." My knees fall down I started shaking like crazy crying and crying.. I didnt know how long I was lying down there until Henkka my ex came there kneed down on me and he craped me into his arms and just let me cry.. Mika (my at the time boyfriend) would never had done the same, Henkka asked if I would have liked to call mika, I just shooked my head for a no.. Nurse brought some pills for us so we could calm down. It helped in a while but Henkka didnt leave out of his arms even though we rised up he hold the whole time.. we are getting engaged next summer..
Jesse Iisak Brownseder 19.11.2011-19.11.2011
Love you my angel<3