Hi, my name is Kaleen. And I had a secret admirer, named Jerry. He is kinda mysterious but I knew that there was something that I can still dig on. Anyways, I was a new fish in our school and found that we are so few in class. The 4th and 3rd year class were joined in the same room. So there, we are. However, I was so naive back then, that someone was liking me already. My image there, was.. I'm a snobbish girl with I always wear my favorite pink headband and changes my bag depending on my mood. And then, back them my hair was curly and long, and I decided to cutt if off to make it short.Moving forward, we had this fieldtrip to Tagaytay somewhere in Laguna. He was inside the Bus alreay, and I was in a a lil bit hurry to get in the bus for I woke up late. It was 7:35 am in the morning already. Then, all of them was staring at me as if it was, they saw a ghost.
Then, I noticed him, staring at me as I walk passed by him. I was so nervous and my heart keeps on beating for he is so cute and awesome. I still don't have any feelings for him. I just found him attractive thats all.
Then, my friend told me that, my hair fits on me and he catched jerry's eyes on me.
I just ignored what my friend said. I just blushed and yea I smiled a little bit. 2 weeks have passed, when I was riding at the school bus. Our bus driver spoke to me and said, "someone is liking you and asking for your number." Of course I asked, "Who's that guy? Of course, I'm not giving my digits to a stranger"
The he said "can't tell for now, cause he is still gaining some strength in order for him to personally reveal his feelings for you. He said that, If he can't get you number, he will find a way to get it."
When I got home I was wondering who that guy is. If hes cute? kind? loving? sweet?
Is he tall? or what? I really don't have any idea. Then, when I was sitting on my porch, my phone rang and failed to answer the call. And received one message, came from unknown number. And it says there "Hi, How are you? Having your dinner? send me a message, once youre done with your dinner "
Then I replied, who are you?,
Replied back: "SECRET"
Of course, it upsets me. Then I did not reply on his message, why should I?
But the thing here, is that. I was hoping that, the one whos sending me that message would be jerry. For I was starting to like him. Everytime he stares at me, and yeah, I almost forgot to tell you guys that his bestfriend, likes me too. So, he teases his bestfriend and trying his best for me to talk to his bestfriend, unfortunately, his bestfriend is not my type. And I have a boyfriend that time. The funny thing is my boyfriend is his bestfriend's brother named JC. Such a twisting scenario, right?
Then, I was so afraid to let my feelings let go for my current bf, for he was so inlove with me, but can't breathe with him anymore. I can't do what I want to do.
Can't be myself when I'm with him. I though, being with him will be my happiest hour/s of my life, but it was not.
Can't tell the whole truth to jc, that I have no feelings for him anymore.
Then, after a few days, this mysterious guy, texted..
Him: Hi! What are you doing right now? saw you, awhile ago. Can't get my eyes of you. You are so beautiful. Hope we can meet someday.
I replied back: Nothing much, thanks anyways.. Since that you can see me everyday. Why don't you approach me and talk to me. Just like a casual conversation. I'm not gonna eat you!
Him: Mad at me? sorry for not telling you my name and as well as of being such a coward. I really can't. Its just like, when I'm trying to get near to you, someone is pulling me not to. Koz, my bestfriend likes you. Do you like him also?
Me: No. And I know you now. Thanks for mentioning about your bestfriend.
You just gave me an answer.
Him: Really?! :p Can I ask you a question?
Him: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: ugh. why'd you ask?
Him: Koz, I really like you. And I would like you to know me better.
Me: Arite not a problem. Ok, so how will you do that?
Him: We'll see tomorrow. then I wuna be the last one to send a message.
Goodnight, pretty. :)
Oh, i can still remember all the messages he sent to me. I will never forget that all. Then, I made a promise to myself not to fall for this. Just for this. I have a BOYFRIEND! I should love him, the way he (Jc) does!
Then, I was kinda excited that day to go to school. To wake up, and face the sunshine. Smell the sweetness of roses around me. To feel the coldness of wind.
I feel so lovely that day. I think I'm in love? never felt this way before. Never. Just today. I said to myself.
I face the mirror. Talked to myself, how can I start my day without having this feelings?! how can I face him? everybody? everbody knows, that jc and i, are in a relationship. They all love jc, they are all friends of jc. If they knew that I'm planning this break up thing, they will all get mad at me.
Anyways, we will be having this valentines party and I was really nervous of what would it be. Then, the day has come. My boyfriend which is my ex, just gave me a boquet of flower, a bar of chocolate and gave me this letter that made me cry, saying:
Happy Valentines babe! Hope this relationship lasts. I'm always looking forward for your love babe. Did I do something wrong? Or maybe, it is my brother who is messing up our relationship? Don't worry honey, I won't let him wreck this relationship. Not a chance, lol. :) love you soo much baby! And I knew our Kevin is hitting on you too. He asked me , if he can get you once you broke up with me. Of course, you wouldnt, right? Babe, our favorite word. Not a chance?! right! hahaha
Arite baby love you!! hope you like my presents for you.
I don't wanna ruin his day,I don't wanna mess up everything just because of "I wanna break up with you" But I'm still waiting for jerry to come over and talk to me.
When, all of us in class planned to go out and have some coffee, just to have some nice chit chat. I came over, then I saw jerrys with em. My heart was beating to fast, that can't catch it.
I know he was trying to reach out for me, but I was with jc and our circle of friends, I'm not sure If I can call them my friends, koz I know and can feel it that they would be totally upset if i break up with jc and go with jerry.
I felt that, i was all alone in the world. Evertime I go to school, I always pray that, something will happen and will make my day wonderful and unforgetable.
I can't even look at them as if im guilty with something they don't know.
So still, we're at the place where we were having this coffee session.
One of his friends, called me with a soft tone of voice that no one can hear us. Only the two of us. And said..
"Kaleen, jerry wants to have a talk. He is waiting for you there. Pointing somewhere near at the cashier. Behind the 2 big walls that enough to cover us 2 there."
And I said, let him wait me there, koz I'm still with them.
Then, I have a friend here, I was treating her as my own sister. I called her diary. And everytime , I have a secret to spill. I always go to her and share it like there is not tomorrow. But then,I was all wrong. She betrayed me that time.
I revealed my feelings for jerry, for she asked me to.
My diary's name would be.. Jenny, how ironic.. I am so careful for choosing the best people to trust to. However I failed to. I fully trusted her on something that is really sacred for me.
Well, let me first continue on what happened to us. I went to that place with jenny, for she SWORE, that she will never tell to everybody, to anyone. No one.
She made a promise that I thought she will never break. Then, were in that part where, I went to that place. He got the chance to speak and let out his feelings for me. However, I was not so happy that day, but really am so ugh.. Can't explain the feelings I felt. It was like, I was having this butterflies inside my stomach. And I was having this goosebumps all over my body. I kept on repeating myself while he was telling me, to look at him.. and visualize all the words hes saying.. That he's falling for me already. Everytime he sees me. All he sees, love and sweetness....
It stopped there.. We were talking and someone, saw us....