Everything was so perfect in the family. All of my cousins were great, perfect until I came along. For me, this is what I feel whenever I do something wrong. They just don't understand me. Its like they all see the wrongdoings I've done and not the good stuff. Actually, our family was poor back then. But my aunt worked hard to be successful. She succeed. Her siblings have nice lives. And my cousins are college graduates. Well, I'm the only one left who's not done in school. So, I thank my Aunt for being so nice to us and caring. In return, I will take care of her especially now that she is sick.
Now that I've grown, I do wrong stuff but I didn't do it intentionally. Its like "sorry-I-didn't-know" or "sorry-I-messed-up-everything" or "I-was-just-trying-to-help" stuff.
All I ever wanted to for them is to be proud of me just for once. They all think that I'm irresponsible, reckless and unpredictable. I'm trying everything. No! I'm doing everything I could to do things right for them. But still, I'm always gonna be their irresponsible relative.
My aunt said, "Your cousins are good. They are understandable. They understand life. They understand everything. Why don't you be like them?"
I wanted to say, "Why? Do THEY even understand me? They understand everything except me? You don't understand me either! even my own parents!"
I'm all alone. All I have is God. It always has been. I prayed and prayed. And I thank Him for being there for me. At least someone understands me.
I cry almost everyday thinking how to handle this misery of mine.
I cry and cry but still, I'm strong. And I'm going to do everything to be successful. I'm going to be a billionaire. I'm going to be more richer than them. And I'm going to tell them, "Everything that you've told me before gave me strength to stand up and never to give up. Those things you've said to me gave me PAIN and I thank you for that. I love you all. And I understand that you were only trying to make me a better person. But before you do that, you have to understand me and listen to me. All I ever wanted for you is to be proud of me for the last 15 years. Now look at me. I'm successful. And did you what? My only strength was GOD! He was my only friend. My ONLY companion. I never gave up because of HIM! No one understood me, only GOD."