Note

Being 90’s kid has always been fascinating. Cause we know how life used to be without social media. Rushing back from school and running back to play ground. This is how evenings were spent.
Fighting for remote with siblings was an emotion or a sport to entertain each other.
We two sisters have spent eternity fighting but backing each other up when needed. We did miss our elder brother who used to stay in hostel.
I still remember we used to have one phone call with him on first Sunday of every month just for few minutes. I used to note down all my complaints , everything I wanted to share with him when I get my turn. With all the excitement and having so much to share, I used to blabber everything except what I had jotted on a paper. After coming back to sanity from the intense state. I used to regret about what I haven’t talked. I used to start waiting for another first Sunday.
Meanwhile Litchi’s seasons was very special for us. This was the time when he used come home for summer vacations. Me and my sister used to choose best bunch of litchi’s for him and let him decide which was better. His vacation was nothing but a festival to us.
Those 30 days were nothing less then magic. With immense time to spend with him and play all games along with flaunting him to my friends I always forgot about the paper. The note I used to write for him. Only to regret about it later.
The days used to pass quickly almost like a snap of fingers. And the wait for next vacation used to be the longest days to count on my little fingers.
It’s been 26 years since I have lived. Since I have known him and the bond we have shared. I can remember only a couple of times of spending festivals specially raksha bandhan together.
For others raksha bandhan used to a be one day thing. But for us it used to be a 15 or more days ritual. From selecting rakhis, writing letters and posting it to him. Those 15 days used to a trip. An adrenaline rush if the rakhis will make it on time and whose he will like more.
From being an elder brother , friend and dance partner to being the one who showed up on our PTM we all grew.
I know this year has been unfortunate for all of us. But I have tried to get the best out of it.
And we will be celebrating raksha bandhan together. With so many things to thank him for. I have been trying to jot down again. Like I used to before.
Only that I hope I give him this note this time.
Only that we fulfill emptiness of all those years of him not being around.
Only that the day should all be orange and happy.
Only that he loves my rakhi the most.
Only that I will be able to express and thank him for all the roles he has played so far.
Only that I can tell him he has been the best of him.
Only that he should not regret for the time we have not been able to spend together.
Only that he should stop feeling guilty of not being there for us.
Only that he should know that it’s his face I can remember when I try remember our Dad.
Only that he has been the best teacher and the best lessons I have learnt are from him.
Only that he is our best friend.
Only that he matters the most.
Only that we love him the most.
Thank you for showing up when no one showed up for our PTMs and whenever we needed you.
Happy Raksha Bandhan Tutus.

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