With a twirl and theatrical flourish
The chef produced nouvelle cuisine
A modernist concoction of foods
Rarely together seen
Oysters served on shredded asparagus
Pan-fried shrimp in butter sauce
Served with a side order of salad
And inevitable French-fries, of course.
Minced chicken hearts sautéed in butter
Wrapped in streaky bacon strips then poached
Before being placed artfully on pureed celeriac
With perfectly formed triangles of toast.
Almost raw steak and lamb meat dishes
Seeping blood all over the plate
And they tell us this is fine dining?
Not for me thanks, mate!
Birds of almost any description,
Often fried or poached
Sometimes they'll even put it in a oven
And serve it as a proper roast.
But why do they serve fish crispy?
Why do they obliterate the delicate flavour
By overcooking a dish that one is meant to
Linger over and savour?
Chefs who produce food that is little more
Than a work of art of on a dinner plate
It might be clever and all that,
But as a meal it fails to satisfy or sate.
Give me good old proper food:
Luvverly fish n chips; pie and mash
And leave all that fancy la-di-da stuff
To folks with little sense and too much cash!