Please register or login to continue

Register Login

Nouvelle Obscene
Nouvelle Obscene

Nouvelle Obscene

apemannAndy (Formerly Apemann)

With a twirl and theatrical flourish
The chef produced nouvelle cuisine
A modernist concoction of foods
Rarely together seen

Oysters served on shredded asparagus
Pan-fried shrimp in butter sauce
Served with a side order of salad
And inevitable French-fries, of course.

Minced chicken hearts sautéed in butter
Wrapped in streaky bacon strips then poached
Before being placed artfully on pureed celeriac
With perfectly formed triangles of toast.

Almost raw steak and lamb meat dishes
Seeping blood all over the plate
And they tell us this is fine dining?
Not for me thanks, mate!

Birds of almost any description,
Often fried or poached
Sometimes they'll even put it in a oven
And serve it as a proper roast.

But why do they serve fish crispy?
Why do they obliterate the delicate flavour
By overcooking a dish that one is meant to
Linger over and savour?

Chefs who produce food that is little more
Than a work of art of on a dinner plate
It might be clever and all that,
But as a meal it fails to satisfy or sate.

Give me good old proper food:
Luvverly fish n chips; pie and mash
And leave all that fancy la-di-da stuff
To folks with little sense and too much cash!

Recommend Write a ReviewReport

Share Tweet Plus Reddit
About The Author
apemann
Andy (Formerly Apemann)
About This Story
Audience:
15+
Posted:
1 Jun, 2016
Genre:
Comedy, Satire
Type:
Funny, Offbeat
Words:
209
Favorites:
0
Views:
494

Please login or register to report this story.

More Stories

Please login or register to review this story.