On one’s own, a Kurt Cobain reflection

Since young everyone around disregarded you,a lost cause kid, a waste of time.

Even most of your family turned their backs on you

when you needed them the most

you were only a little boy that didn’t know any better.

So you grew from it, without anyone to rely on,

suppressing your emotions.

Broken teenager looking so desperately

for a sip of success and recognition,

since no one really ever acknowledged you,

after walking an endless desert of hardships

so eager to shout to the world

that you were ready to prove them wrong,

that you weren’t useless but dedicated,

to show you could also be someone

who had passion running through their veins

someone who was worth spending time with.

On stage, you were this breathtaking artist

that everyone dreamed of being,

with a deep gravelly voice

coming up to sing the raw and honest lyrics.

Dirty blonde hair sticking to your forehead with sweat

after an intense performance.

You became someone who gave up sleep for doing music

and let the passion flow through their mouth

directly into the hearts of the listeners of the underdog anthem.

Someone who let their hard work on their music

slip through their angel hands

that never missed a beat while playing the Fender guitar.

Firm and stable vocals accompanied

with echoey choruses and harsh beats

came along every time you opened your mouth to sing

the grunge anthem that your mind and soul brought to life

through words of sorrow and despair

Swaying your rotten insides from side to side

your skinny hips hiding under big baggy clothes

to keep people from seeing the bruises

and high doses of morphine intoxicating your body.

Your soul and music leaving a big print in younger hearts

every time you spoke or played a song.

Broken souls and shattered hearts singing along at every concert

until their vocal chords gave up on them

bodies wasted moving back and forth in the audiences

at the rhythm of your suffering

Even after a many years from singing live

you admitted you were not enjoying performing

in front of fans while using a facade

that you made to keep people from hurting you

to keep everyone from seeing the real you

hiding under all of that mess and chaos in your person.

Because at the end, you were also human

sensible, dedicated and emotional individual

who just looked for somebody to love, to rely on.

Why did it had to end like this?

You had potential to continue living

the life you learned to despise.

But you were exhausted,

both mentally and physically

of being busy as a bee,

of being controlled as a puppet

working on lyrics, music, album and tours.

Most people would say;

¨What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger¨

But this kind of despair didn’t made you any stronger,

instead it was eating away your body

and consuming your last breaths in life.

Abusing drugs to breathe in between recording sessions,

smoking cigarettes to release your soul from heavy chains of depression,

everything bad done to your body just try to survive.

The music industry’s crushing weight on your bony shoulders

so slowly and painfully that you

Took the decision to end it yourself,

before they could end you.

The darkest moment is just before the sun rises.

When you were feeling troubled, you just hanged in there because in a few hours

The sun will once again kiss your face with the strong rays of hope.

Where did it all go wrong?

Your career as a musician was getting even more popular as time passed by

But your exit from this world left a deep and hurting wound

that will never close fully in the hearts of millions of people that cared and looked after you

Because after losing someone you loved, the period of grief is undetermined.

Author Notes: Please let me know what you think of the poem!

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