Since young everyone around disregarded you,a lost cause kid, a waste of time.
Even most of your family turned their backs on you
when you needed them the most
you were only a little boy that didn’t know any better.
So you grew from it, without anyone to rely on,
suppressing your emotions.
Broken teenager looking so desperately
for a sip of success and recognition,
since no one really ever acknowledged you,
after walking an endless desert of hardships
so eager to shout to the world
that you were ready to prove them wrong,
that you weren’t useless but dedicated,
to show you could also be someone
who had passion running through their veins
someone who was worth spending time with.
On stage, you were this breathtaking artist
that everyone dreamed of being,
with a deep gravelly voice
coming up to sing the raw and honest lyrics.
Dirty blonde hair sticking to your forehead with sweat
after an intense performance.
You became someone who gave up sleep for doing music
and let the passion flow through their mouth
directly into the hearts of the listeners of the underdog anthem.
Someone who let their hard work on their music
slip through their angel hands
that never missed a beat while playing the Fender guitar.
Firm and stable vocals accompanied
with echoey choruses and harsh beats
came along every time you opened your mouth to sing
the grunge anthem that your mind and soul brought to life
through words of sorrow and despair
Swaying your rotten insides from side to side
your skinny hips hiding under big baggy clothes
to keep people from seeing the bruises
and high doses of morphine intoxicating your body.
Your soul and music leaving a big print in younger hearts
every time you spoke or played a song.
Broken souls and shattered hearts singing along at every concert
until their vocal chords gave up on them
bodies wasted moving back and forth in the audiences
at the rhythm of your suffering
Even after a many years from singing live
you admitted you were not enjoying performing
in front of fans while using a facade
that you made to keep people from hurting you
to keep everyone from seeing the real you
hiding under all of that mess and chaos in your person.
Because at the end, you were also human
sensible, dedicated and emotional individual
who just looked for somebody to love, to rely on.
Why did it had to end like this?
You had potential to continue living
the life you learned to despise.
But you were exhausted,
both mentally and physically
of being busy as a bee,
of being controlled as a puppet
working on lyrics, music, album and tours.
Most people would say;
¨What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger¨
But this kind of despair didn’t made you any stronger,
instead it was eating away your body
and consuming your last breaths in life.
Abusing drugs to breathe in between recording sessions,
smoking cigarettes to release your soul from heavy chains of depression,
everything bad done to your body just try to survive.
The music industry’s crushing weight on your bony shoulders
so slowly and painfully that you
Took the decision to end it yourself,
before they could end you.
The darkest moment is just before the sun rises.
When you were feeling troubled, you just hanged in there because in a few hours
The sun will once again kiss your face with the strong rays of hope.
Where did it all go wrong?
Your career as a musician was getting even more popular as time passed by
But your exit from this world left a deep and hurting wound
that will never close fully in the hearts of millions of people that cared and looked after you
Because after losing someone you loved, the period of grief is undetermined.
Author Notes: Please let me know what you think of the poem!