Now I know the time has come,
for me to say goodbye
to what is good and gone.
Maybe you shall come again some day,
and tell me it was all okay,
for me to scream and shout,
and just flip out,
on being hurt and proud.
For me to hear those words you say,
is more than I can ask for, today.
It's time to wash these memories offshore,
and I believe I've been here before.
A guilty conscious is a heavy load to carry,
anger, resentment, madness -what a bore!
It hurts me to think I'm so sure-
I know I caused you pain,
pain for pleasure- I was foolish,
a child ready to fight.
I didn't realise it wasn't right,
until I realised you really did care,
when things had gone beyond despair.
Now I walk into the unknown,
not looking back at what I owned,
back then, a dear heart,
a troublesome past,
and much more,
I came to realise I wasn't alone.
I forgive myself for this,
and everything we went through,
but we all learn to eventually
stand up for what we believe,
without having to deceive
one another again.
Sometimes my pride overrides the
sadness and grief inside of me,
and only then I realise,
It wasn't all disbelief.
I cannot stop myself from being hurt,
but I can save the day from further words of hate.
Author Notes: poem for a lost friend and lover