For the tears that escapes from my eyes and the uncontrollable way my mind wonders. I blame you.
For the nights that have been interrupted by screams, and a body that was afraid to move from that very spot, I blamed you.
For the days spent crying, and wishing that someone would come and hold me like you use too, talk to me until the moon interrupted the sun. And sang to me like that would be the very last note that would ever be reached. I find myself wondering why? Why would such a beautiful person disappear like smoke floating into thin air?
Still I find myself answerless, still shedding tears that were supposed to be over something such as a silly crush, or the first time I fell in love and became heartbroken. Yet instead you surprised me again. By leaving your shit on my shoulders, without even having enough pride to say the words "I'm Sorry".
It only took me by surprise because I never thought it would be you. But I guess that's what I get for thinking. I always "thought" a mother was to do everything in her power to make damn such that her children were if not happy, safe. Again that's what I get for thinking right.
I'm making a promise to you and myself: Listen carefully because I'll only say this once. Thank You, for teaching me who not to be. As well, as the beauty that you have graced me with. But by allowing me to see your true colors and all that you see me as been worth I promise you as of January 2, 2013 I will never sit and shed so many tears for a person who didn't or doesn't give a flying fuck about me. You enjoy your life love, because I'll be damned sure to enjoy mine. To the daughter that you will NEVER know she loved you, even at your worst.
Love: Mariah Burns-Williams
Author Notes: I don't have a mother.