I think you did a pretty good job keeping the action going. I liked the urgency the battery percentage gave throughout the story. I, personally, found the setting almost as intriguing as the scenario. It would be interesting to read more.

You did a really good job of keeping the action going the entire time. It was interesting to get inside the thief's mind. The cliffhanger at the end left me wanting to read more. Great job :)

this is really good! one thing; "first, the allarm bells began," i don't think alarm has two L's. XD not sure if you meant to do that