The girl who most know. She isn't popular, but she isn't unkown. She's the girl who is always laughing and smiling and sharing those emotions with others. She's the girl who's always talking and can never focus because she's too busy making jokes and..she's so sad all the time and is amazed everyday that she doesn't start crying at any point through the day because all her memories ravel her in a tunnel of endless hatred. 'I'm not pretty, or funny, or interesting..why do I even bother', 'that was a stupid joke, i'm SO STUPID', 'I should have stayed silent...why did I even say anything.' 'I'm so ugly, why can't I look like those other girls.' But everyone loves her, and everyone KNOWS she loves herself. They KNOW she is happy, and always having the best time.. but how could they be so sure? Okay let me rephrase; they THINK she loves herself, they THINK she is happy, and always having the best time...they think. She enters highschool, new classes, new teachers, new people, new friends. Her friends start finding others, but they all still sit together in lunch to keep a common factor between the group.
They all have a chat, where they share their day, thoughts and feelings, or at least they used to before highschool. It's been feeling more vacant. No one cares and no one has time to care anymore. Everyones left with greif out of the friendship but no one says a word. The girl who most know, the girl who is always smiling, the girl who is always laughing doesn't want to accept the fact that is unevitable that her friends are growing farther apart from eachother. It's too much to grasp as she is in misery and doesn't want another failure in her life because for her, all she sees in those mistakes are her own. The group starts reconnecting but only with standard questions which is then followed by standard answers. The girl who most know, the girl who is always smiling, the girl who is always laughing decides to share how she is feeling. She shares how she is sad and feels lonely accompinied with jokes such as, "hahaha", "lol" just because she doesn't feel comfortable to open up. She doesn't like confrontation about emotions and feelings, especially when they have to do with her own. Her message of help and sorrowness was loud and practically a beg, only to be met with silence. She feels as if her thoughts, and feelings become meaningless, as if her pain and battles in her own head to keep her sane and alive are worthless. She begins to feel anger towards the group and herself, how could she be so stupid to scatter her agony into words, but only to be disregarded once again. She told them, she made it clear, or she thought she had. She questioned her worth and shook off the overwhelming sadness with every thought..every day. She kept smiling and laughing until it became too much.
She fell into a suction of pills, and destruction towards her future. Her doctors and physiatricts gave her anti-deppresants but they just covered the cruelness that filled this world. Smiley faces printed on each negative thing although it still remains in her mind, but just hides behind a mask. It ignores lifes problems by drowning you in artifical happiness. This is what well being has come to...
A r t i f i c i a l H a p p i n e s s.
Author Notes: If you can, give this a review as to I'm just a beginner and still trying to improve my writing.
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United States • 20 years old