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Rainbow Reviews

3 reviews have given an average rating of 4.3 out of 5 Stars
Andy (Formerly Apemann) gave a rating of 4

This is a much better and nicer story to read than some of your other work due to the minimal use of 'fancy' language. It has a nice flow and fairly good drama, too. I'm not so sure all the stuff with her mother serves any purpose in the story: it feels unnecessary and out-of-place somehow. You could have got to where you are in the story without it...

Hopefully you have ideas to develop this story? It would be interesting to see where you take it. There is certainly plenty of scope to take it in many different directions.

One small note of caution: please keep your story description to a minimum. You tend to tell too much before folks get to read the story.

Oh, and Kat is the LAST person to be giving advice about grammar, spelling etc. Just check her comment: TWO spelling mistakes ('discription' for 'description' and 'Micheals' for 'Michael's') and a grammar error ("But one reminded" instead of 'reminder')! How's THAT for embarrassing oneself??

You are doing no worse and considerably better than some others...

Kat gave a rating of 4

I loved the discriptipn! Please do write more! I want to see where this is going!
But one reminded:
Make sure that you know who's point of view you are speaking in. You switched from Rebecca's to Micheals really fast, and had no seperation of the two.
Besides that, it was great!

Aspen-Faye gave a rating of 5

Write more!!!!


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