Realization

I finally realized that my...
My life is a world full of happiness, Love, sin and hate...

I accept mostly of the other things...
But the things that i accept are not
the things that usually hit me, right
to the back of my head..

But the things that mostly affect
me is not physical...
But mentally, emotionally, and soulfully....

These things come and go around and about and etc...

But these things just happened because..
I loved a woman..
A woman of fiction and fantasy...
And my emotions never felt so strong about this to other Fiction-of-fantasy
creatures such as this...

But it only felt that strong for her...

Ever since then..
I forgot everything about my old life..
And my old self.. I forgot about reality...
I erased everything up to the back of my head of my old life...

Ever since I went to her world..
A world she called..
S___t-37...

That world was circling around my
head for about 2 weeks..

Then...
when it was time to go..
I felt very sad..
It felt like my life is no more...
Like a plane lost in the air forever...

Then when it was really time to let go..

I took one of her pictures...
Including the bad and the good ones...

Because it was the only thing that i could
remember about her...

After i left her in my head..
I felt lonely in reality..
In real life...
My head was out of place..
The world which I re-entered is full
of fog and smoke...

I had no other choice, but to sit
down on the dark floor..
And think about her..
The floor felt like it was rusting beneath me..
Waiting for it to crack open and letting me fall down to my
own death..

Every spot of light was trying to
enter the blackness of the dark..
but it fell into nothingness..
Like a black hole sucking in light
because of it's strong gravitational pull..

The world i created in reality was formatted because of her...

But i felt very happy because..
she made me another new beginning..

My life felt like a blank page waiting to be written..
and the things that i'll write on this
blank page..
is starting with her..
The love my life.. My ideal girl..
the one who made me change my reality.. The one that i wish was real......
S__i, the love of my life.....
Forever.....

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