Runway Girl

Her cigarette steam slowly filled up the room with the strong smell of tobacco.

‘A girl like me does not get around messing around, old timer’ she turns her gaze to him.

‘Roger that, especially not a runaway girl’ he kept cleaning the bar, and felt no surprise when he heard the glass fall and the coins tossed. He was shaking his head.

Sue feared that her firstborn would bring pain and suffering to the world, but her love for it clouded her mind.

The heavy rain knocked on the windows as if with fingers. Sue had been awake from long ago, and enjoyed listening to it. The house was so quiet and it was at that moment that she decided to leave. It was disheartening to pack up, and utterly painful to accept that later today Abraham was going to wake up to an empty bed, and feel at a loss. This much she could predict, as the feelings of a man that has lost his pregnant wife inadvertently were predictable but immensely painful, she felt guilty already.

But she was not to stay a day more, because what was forming in her belly was not holy nor natural. It had been conceived normally, they had been meaning to have a kid for only a month when, after a particularly romantic night, Abe turned around and fell asleep and she was sure that she was pregnant. This feeling was then confirmed by the pregnancy test she took three weeks later, while Abe waited just outside the bathroom. In light of the result, they hugged and kissed, because they thought that what was forming inside of her was a fruit of their love.

During the next few weeks she had started to feel excited. During her highschool years, back when she was entering puberty she loved interacting with kids. Especially during the preparation weeks for Mother Day, where every grade, from kindergarten to twelve grade prepared either a dance or small theatrical scene to perform in front of their proud mothers. Who wore their best dresses and shiniest shoes. That year she had opted in to take care of the preparation for the presentation of the kindergarten toddlers, and took the time to learn the name of every child in her unit. She knew how to approach them, but most importantly, they found her welcoming and she loved to feel welcomed by them. As no evil was behind their interest, but only the energic willingness to have fun.

During the last rehearsal day, one boy, Phil, reached for the hem of her oversized t-shirt and pulled lightly. She looked down at him, knelt down and he said ‘my daddy kicked my mother this morning’. Her heart felt heavy upon this sudden piece of information, and she quickly hugged him. She felt the kid's small chest rapidly heavy up and down upon hers, and she knew how that kid was feeling. Because that kick directly fractured the vision he had on his life and family, it showed that her mother was weak and his father evil. It showed that his home was not safe, and it left him at a loss, feeling empty inside, barely able to breath at times, and ten is no age to feel that way. She had felt that way on her own in the past. She tried to comfort the kid, and kissed his cheek.

‘Why did my dad do that?’

Did your mother burn the eggs? Because it may be that. Or maybe she forgot to iron his shirt, she was too dumb to help the man who brings the bread to the table, and needed some encouraging to do better.

The voice in her mind said.

‘No need to worry little guy’ she whispered in his ear. He smelled her cologne, it smelled of Lavender, and he felt good.

‘That is not up to you to decide,’ she continued ‘be a good kid to your mom, and keep me in mind when you feel blue’ he smiled, he felt accompanied.

‘Now, would you grab a seat next to Emilie, the rehearsal is about to start’ She then stood up, and before leaving the kid looked at her, and in his eyes she saw no fear but the sheer happiness that seemed to be reserved to kids only.

Apart from some morning sickness at times, the first two months of her pregnancy passed with ease. She was now sitting in the rocker of her room, with a book in her hands and overlooking their little lawn and the street. Four kids were playing hide and seek, hiding under the Arlingtons house, which was opposite hers. She was waiting for Mr Arlington, the neighbourhood's octogenarian, to realise and scare them away; she had just finished The Time Machine, which she now put on the table beside her. On the table there also was some ibuprofen and a coke can.

She laid back on the rocker and started to drift into sleep.

Abe saw his wife from the back, and felt accomplished and lucky to be with his dream girl forever.

She was in the woods, the bare trees were tall and ominous. It was nearly dawn and the beauty of nature was slowly but surely turning into the terrifying, dangerous place that the woods are at night. She had an inexplicable fear, and kept running along the blackbrick road. She heard a lot of movement around her, twigs breaking, leaves brushing, hits and the sounds of many animals. The monkeys and foxes didn’t scare her, it was when she heard the roar of a gigantic lion that she felt shivers up her spine that she started to run. She ran for a long time, the road seemed to be new, as it shined. The end of the road was in sight, she ran faster and not looking back.

She felt that any creature was within grabbing distance, killing distance. Her heart was pounding. She recognised a ginormous pyramid, it was unlike the Egyptian pyramids. This one resembled Chichen Itza, she ran up the stairs, she went higher and higher. She felt safer as she ran towards the top of the pyramit and could see over the trees. She took a peek at the bottom of the pyramid. There was a gigantic, feathered serpent, about as wide as a bus, it slithered around, the moonlight reflected the beautiful bright colours of its feathers. Even though she could not see his head she felt that if she stopped here any mad creature would finally get hold of her. So she ran to the top.

There was an earthquake, followed by a ton of explosions in the distance, so bright she was dazzled. She seeked shelter under the sacrifice bed that was at the very top of the pyramid, crying, and begging for everything to fade away. One after the other the explosion came, making her deaf and her eyes cried profusely. After some time she opened her eyes, and realized that the explosion where of atomic bombs, she recognised the mushroom shape they made. The gigantic mushrooms went over the clouds and were too many to count. Then she looked down at her belly, it was gigantic now, and felt what had to be poison running along her veins as it was burning. Her belly was rotten and she felt how her baby was biting his way out of her. She was now laying on the Aztec sacrifice bed, the baby slowly but surely biting pieces of her in order to come to the world of the living, with the giant mushrooms surrounding her and the poison burning every inch of her body. With her last coherent thought she started to bite her hands, it felt funny, it brought a little tingling sensation.

She woke up on her rocker, it was now dark. She had a hand on her currently thin belly and a tear running down her cheek. She was afraid of going back to sleep, so she stood up from the rocker, reached for the door and fell on the floor. She screamed for Abe once, as the next moment she was sleeping once again.

She wore a small leather jacket, blue jeans and old cowboy boots as she filled a box with cash from the safe inside the walk-in wardrobe. Money she earned working as a P.E teacher down at Suzanne’s High School, and no more. With the racks of Benjamins on her hands she felt resolved to leave, the whole plan was set in motion, no backing out now. As a young girl she had reflected about how the present was always conditioned to the future and the past, especially while studying for the horrible biology exams, and not having fun at the beach. Things were good now, they were wonderful. But soon enough Abe would realise something was off, and how off were they where? Of that she was not sure. And what solution would he come up with?

That’s easy enough honey, he would tell you that your pregnant state is messing with your mind and that after the baby is born everything will be good again.

That crude, but truthful remark was coming from that part of her brain that was always sour and looking for the worse. It came up to tell her what she would not want to acknowledge otherwise and, it seemed, always in a condescending tone, as if a strict and arrogant teacher cohabited her mind.

But the voice was right. The day her baby was out of the womb any chance to help this would be too far to reach, or even see. She had been pregnant for two months, during which she had thought about everything concerning getting rid of the baby. She knew the simple and bloody ways to get rid of an unwanted baby. A couple of pills would do the trick, your local GP could get them for you, for free. That would break Abraham’s heart, but most importantly it would kill her from the inside.

Back in High School she used to skip drama class to mess around the school. During these long hours, she did a lot of thinking. And it was because she had seen Saving Private Ryan that she started to question morality. The whole point of the movie, she believed, had been to save private Ryan, despite being uncertain as to whether he was alive or not. This involved taking lots of risks. This struck her as utterly pointless at first, because they could get killed on their way to save the private, and then we would end up with more death. But a bigger, overwhelming idea came about. She believed that Tom Hanks' character, the leader, could not go on in life knowing that he could have saved Ryan, as it was on him to lead the team. Then the mean voice, evil and factual even back then said,

If you sacrifice your morale to stay alive, you will get home and shoot yourself.

She believed in this idea wholeheartedly, as it was connected with further moral phrases like ignorance is bliss first coined by Thomas Gray in 1768, and still relevant to this day. She could not get rid of any child, especially not one of her own, so she had to flee.

Still uncertain as to her future she put her bag in the trunk of her cyan BMW 840i and drove down church road. The sun was setting down, and she could feel the cold air numbing her cheeks. Her beautiful, blue eyes filled with tears, she set her gaze up to the sun, it was bright and smooth. She pressed the accelerator, went faster and faster. A tear rolled down her cheek, and then evaporated. That is how she left her life behind.

The hours went by quickly. As she left the city limits, the tall buildings were replaced by miles and miles of neat, Victorian style houses. She peered down past them, and distinguished a gigantic castle.

Unlike other modern-day English castles, this one showed no sign of decay. This was not a ruin, it looked the way it would the day it was inaugurated back in the 12th century. Red crimson flags waved from the sharp, incredibly tall poles that hang from the top of the towers. She could not be sure about any of these observations, she was just too far away and slowly leaving the castle out of sight. But she did not know about the existence of any such building on the outskirts of Birmingham.

This is no time for sightseeing, the voice remarked.

But what was she going to do exactly? She needed to think, get away from Abe and all ties she had to her life. The life she had managed to build over the years and seemed perfect just a month in the past.

She drove down south, it would be a four hour drive if she did not stop. But after that she had no ideas of how to proceed.

To her left and right was the beautiful English countryside, its wide fields and classical, old houses reminded her of the old times. She had travelled this same road several times, just not to escape, but to have fun.

At age eighteen she had just gotten her drivers licence and convinced Jenny to let her use her car. Jenny was not so keen on the idea as their parents would not allow it, and it had been her birthday present, regardless of the fact that she had failed to get her licence twice. Jenny was filthy rich, or at least that is the idea Sue had gotten from the clothes she wore, her car, and the way she managed money. Sue believed that Jenny always acted under the assumption that her credit card would never run out of funds. Jenny would get new, fashionable coats every winter, wear beautiful leather boots and a red beret. The occasion was rare when she used the same clothes two days in a row. However, what got Sue’s attention the most was the tranquillity she always seemed to maintain, as if she was sure that wherever she went someone would be there with a room ready for her and a smile. There was no harm in this respect, as it seemed that that had been the case for her always. But when Jennie handed the keys to Sue that tranquillity was not there, because she had little idea as to where they were going.

It was Sue’s last year in highschool and she had decided to go on a little road trip with her best friend. According to Jenny they were driving down to Brighton to spend some days on the beach, she had packed some hot, new swimming suits and even a small surprise for Sue. However, when she woke up and saw Sue driving she felt deeply troubled, because they had been on the road for at least three hours, and still had not reached Brighton.

‘Hey Sue’ she said while brushing the crust off her eyes.

‘Morning’ she said, not taking her eyes from the road.

‘Where are you taking me?’

Sue shrugged ‘somewhere’

‘Where did you get that hat?’

‘A friend’ Sue replied.

‘You are scaring me’

Sue looked at her, patted her soft blond hair, and said ‘You don’t need to worry, we are good’

‘I hate you’

The day was grey and some rain started to fall, but Jenny felt no real fear. Her best friend was driving her somewhere and she was so tired. She felt the warm air of the car while looking at the rain falling on the window and fell asleep at once.

‘I could kidnap you in your own car if I really wanted to, kiddo’ Sue said to her sleeping friend.

A good driver could do the drive to Liverpool in three hours flat, but Sue was not one to take any chances. She had to guide herself with a map and ask locals for directions. Her first stop was at Shrewsbury, where she spent a good half an hour looking at the map and checking street names to get a sense of where to go next.

After some time Sue gave up and parked the car next to a small pub. She then walked to the train station. It looked as if it had been some sort of castle long ago, and it had been refurbished to serve as a train station recently. With the map folded in her back pocket she approached a cubby police officer, he had the official pointy hand that always seemed hilarious to her. He dictated the way to Blackpool, and Sue obediently jotted it down in a small blue notebook. The policeman found this hilarious.

She then rode on.

The drive out of Shrewsbury was especially beautiful, the sky was clear and blue. The small houses and stores looked incredibly old and classy, the small parks and threes looked green and full of life. They kept taking deep breaths, which filled her lungs with the fresh, clean air of a small town. And the breeze brushing her face made her feel alive. She saw people walking all kinds of dogs. One of them, a small Pomeranian, wore a small red vest, which Sue found hilarious. Sue had aspirations to achieve a lot in the future, but if she could do that living in a charming town such as this one, she would be so happy.

She quickly left the town limits and welcomed the countryside views with cheer, she actually kissed three fingers and shot them out of the driver’s side window, as a way to say goodbye.

She was driving into Whitchurch when she saw the kid. He was laying on the sidewalk, his long blonde hair was sprawled on the floor and there was some blood visible from the distance. Jennie was sleeping on the shotgun seat, and she snored like she was not waking up anytime soon. She killed the engine and walked over to the kid. The kid was moving, thank god the kid is moving, she thought. She reached him and knelt next to him, the sun was shining hard over them, making his hair shine and the blood look horribly clear. Parts of his hair were turning crimson. She took off her coat, then her t-shirt and covered the kid’s head with it. She propped him up against a tree.

‘And what are you going to pull off now Angie?’ said a voice coming from her right.

This kid is about to die if you don’t act right now honey. Said the objective voice in her mind.

The kid opened the beautiful green eye that was not covered by her white t-shirt and pointed towards the woods behind.

‘You are going to feel what being a bitch feels like!’ said a manly voice.

‘I HATE YOU!’ answered the acute voice of a little child, most likely a girl.

Sue was sweating and full of nerves, she could not leave the kid behind. But she had to see what the hell was going on back there, or how did the kid get injured in the first place.

You are in too deep now, love. The voice reminded her.

So she started to approach the voices, she was shivering and talkings small steps. She kept hearing steps and hits of wood on wood.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa please no, no, no, no, NO NO NO NO I AM A GOOD CHILD NO PLEASE I AM A GOOD GOOD NOT A WHORE

Sue got to her feet and ran towards the horrible scream, instinctively she reached for the keys in her right pocket. She jumped over a fallen tree and saw a horrible scene. A little girl. no older than ten was laying on the floor, her face was bloody, she was screaming. The blue overall she was wearing was open showing her bare bottom. A man wearing a red overall was holding a long, pointy branch and stepping on her little left leg.

The man knelt down and covered her little mouth with his hand, Sue was in shock and started to shiver.

‘Why, then, do I keep finding you touching boys all the time you little whore?’ The man knelt and put his knee over the little girl's left buttock. The little girl squeeld put of utter terror, the man started to introduce the pointy end of the branch to her ass. The girl tried to kick and failed.

Little Angelina was feeling the wood on her ass, she was crying rivers and gave the loudest shout she could.

Sue approached the man from behind, she could see his chest breathing heavily. With one jump she was next to him, she looked him in the eyes for one second, the next moment Angelina gave up any hope and shouted once more, and Sue pushed her house key into the man’s left eye. Then kicked him in the chest.

The man gave a horrible scream of pain. He left Angelina and fell on his back, and managed to give a strong kick into Sue’s right leg. She fell over him.

You made this ten times easier

She nudged him on his neck, and felt his Adam’s apple receding into his neck. The man was bleeding profusely and now was trying to catch a breath. Sue knew this man would kill her with the first chance he got. And would succeed because she was a woman, but she didn’t care. She remembered the horrible thing he was about to do and started to stomp repeatedly on his dick, after each stomp she could hear the man utter a small scream with the few air his lungs received.

She turned around, her face was splattered with blood, and saw Angelina with blood running down from both nostrils and crying. She had closed her overalls, and was in a foetal position. Her small chest was heaving up and down as she cried. Angelina not looking at Sue.

Sue armed the sweat and blood of her face and took the big, pointy branch. She stomped on his dick five more times, feeling grand every time. And then, with utter concentration and drive started to pierce his face with the branch, the first hit got into his mouth, she kicked the branch dipper and felt it break something deep in his insides. She raised it and repeatedly pierced his face with the branch, it was robust enough, but started to break. She did not care, it looked as if she was trying to break black ice with a long ice pick. She pierced deep into both eyes, she was sure they had popped but couldn’t be sure as there was so much blood running from his face that it was hard to distinguish anything. She kept piercing and piercing. The arms of the man lay sprawled on the grass, but she kept piercing. When she saw the white of his skull she decided to give her boots a good use, and started stomping his skull. She thought about stopping, but Sue was a woman that didn’t take any chances.

She looked for a rock and found one the size of a small football ball. She held it exactly over the face of the man, which looked like mashed meat, with tiny pieces of horribly white bone visible, and threw it hard against his brain. She only felt satisfied when she heard the bones caving in, and what once had been the head of a horrible man didn’t look like a head at all, but had turned into nothing more than a pile of smashed bone, meat and brains.

At least this way you cause less harm, dipshit. The voice said.

His warm blood was dripping from her leather jacket. Her blue eyes made her blood splattered face look crazy. But her expression was that of dismay. She turned toward Angelina once more and saw that she was sleeping, or maybe she had passed out.

She ran towards the little creek that ran close by, took off her jacket and started to clean her face, hands and hair. She realised her boots were full of blood and some pieces of meat were stuck to the sole of the right boot. So she was only wearing jeans and her bra when she approached Angelina.

She was a beautiful child, big round eyes, tanned skin and all the blood on her face made her mad. She took her to the creek and cleaned her as best as she could.

Sue put her index finger on her small wrist and felt for a pulse. She kissed her in the forehead. And there was a pulse, she had passed out from shock.

People at the hospital would ask questions, and she didn’t care. She carried Angelina away from the woods and into the driveway. She opened the car’s back doors and gently laid her on the seat. She walked back to get the blonde kid, the cold air made her face feel numb, some blood was splattering from her jeans. Sue carried the kid towards the car, he was heavy and she was tired. But she really felt that if she didn’t get him to the hospital he’d not see the light of another day. When she was about to reach the car with the kid in her arms she started to cry, it hurt her deeply all that evil she had just witnessed, and that she had done. One tear fell on the kid’s visible eye, and it opened.

‘Hey, rest kiddo’ she whispered, looking at him.

‘My friend is back…’ he raised his small arm and index finger.

She kissed his cheek ‘I got your friend too, she is good’

‘These two had something going on, something pretty powerful I’d say’, she thought.

She laid him next to Angelina, they barely fit in the backseat but it had to do.

She drove into the city, which was close to deserted. She stayed away from the crowded shopping areas and managed to find a small, redbrick building that had a small blue sign in front that read WHITCHURCH COMMUNITY HOSPITAL. She parked in front of it and with no time to think carried the blonde kid inside. The young man at reception was stunned at the look of Sue, who wore only a bra and jeans, carrying a kid with a blood soaked t-shirt wrapped around his head. Blood drops were falling on the floor.

‘Nurses, code white!’ he shouted as he left his chair and got hold of the child from Sue’s arms.

‘One more’ she told him, looking straight into his eyes.

The charity shop assistant at the counter opened his eyes like plates as the woman entered the store, ringing the bell as she opened the door. She looked really tired, and blood was dripping from her black jeans. Her white bra was covered with hundreds of blood droplets. She reached for the counter and he backed out.

‘May I help you ?’ he asked

‘I am in dire need of some clothing,’ she replied, and smiled. Despite her messed up state, that smile marked her beautiful cheeks, and those were some remarkably bright blue eyes. In another situation she would be a beautiful bride, he thought.

‘I will take a stroll around, is that alright?’ she asked as she went to the jeans section.

He didn’t call the cops because he did not feel threatened, but could not do any more.

The woman came to the centre with a bunch of clothes in a bag and threw a hundred pound bill on the counter, it was bloody. She then looked at him with worry, exaggerated worry.

‘May I use your bathroom?’ she asked.

‘Then you get out of my store’ he managed to answer.

‘Right on the money’ she smiled and walked toward the back of the store. She was whispering to herself. The assistant could understand only one thing she said

‘She’s gonna be just fine, cowboy!’

When Jenny woke up she was not worried, but amazed at the sight of the wonderful fireworks show in front of her. The car was climbing up a long, narrow dirt road that overlooked the coast of blackpool. Some music could be heard coming from the distance, there seemed to be a music festival going on down there. The blackpool tower was glowing red and piercing the sky, yet it looked so bold and beautiful. The fireworks explosions could be heard every five or ten seconds.

‘Wakey wakey’ Sue whispered

‘Hello Sue’

‘We are almost there’

Jenny yawned and turned towards Sue in the driving seat. She was wearing a bright red leather jacket, and matching leather pants. But what made her laugh was the red, leathery cowboy hat she was wearing. She looked like a fashionable mariachi. From the brim of her hat a skull keychain hung, it looked ridiculous.

‘In what moment did you get that cool outfit?’ she asked. Smiling and stretching her arms.

‘I’ll tell you at the top, it’s quite the story’

To this Jenny opened her eyes like plates.

‘Oh, yeah, tell me then. Did you kill anybody?’ she asked sarcastically.

‘Maybee’

Sue turned her gaze toward Jenny and they bursted into laughter.

She was driving her blue BMW convertible downtown next to the busiest pubs of Windstone, she had the radio blasting the Rolling Stones and she decided to get some action. Her days of being a young, pretty lady were long gone, there were some creases on her once smooth cheekbones, and they may even extend into crows' feet at the out corners of her eyes. Her back ached from sudden moves. But she still had those bright blue, round eyes.

She parked the convertible with the cover off, hopped off, and locked the car. She took a red lipstick out of her back pocket and applied it to her lips. She put a red point with it on each cheek and expanded it with the back of her hand.

She entered and sat at the bar. This was a lazy Sunday morning, apart from two groups of construction workers that seemed to be having breakfast, there was barely anyone there. The place still smelled of beer and tobacco from last night. A young, blonde lady was sweeping the floor, her face was that of extreme boredom.

However, she sat there and asked for a glass of coke. The bartender was drying off some pints, and delivered quickly and with none of the classic chitter chatter. There was a small stage opposite of her, and a light over there suddenly turned on getting her attention at once.

There was an old digital piano on one corner of the stage, two microphone stands and no more. She started siping on her coke, interested in whatever this show was going to be. As she did, a bunch of people entered the pub. Mostly men with their girlfriends, groups of friends and a few groups of young girls. It looked like there was going to be a good show, if all these people came this early in the morning.

She was not surprised at the sight of three long haired guys entering the stage, each with a guitar strapped to the chest. A shorter, bespectacled fella came next and sat behind the piano. It seems that ever since rock and roll became popular, so many years ago, one could find out the number of rock bands in England by taking the number of teens in England and dividing it by four. She smiled at that though.

The ginger guitarist approached the mike and talked with a soft voice.

‘Good morning all, we are the Bluestones’

And what she had expected to happen occurred. The bartender approached her with another pint of coke, handed it to her and pointed at a young guy sitting on the other side of the bar. She stood up, looked at him, smiled and eagerly waved. He approached smiling. He had the neat hands of a lady, a blue work shirt, and a clean cut hairstyle.

She let him do most of the talking, he seemed eager to learn about her life’s most boring aspects. Like, ‘what do you do?’ ‘Do you have any hobbies?’ ‘Do you have instagram?’ She answered with a smile and forced a laugh every now and then. At one moment, when he ran out of pointless questions he began to comment about the band. ‘He is really talking to himself, and he is great at it’ she thought. But she kept her face relaxed and showing interest, despite not really listening. The Bluestones had some good covers of old classics, and performed House of the Rising Sun beautifully. The public cheered after every song and the waiters kept delivering drinks. But the guy in front of her hands eyes for her only.

‘And if you think about it, the sixties were the golden age of music because-’ He stopped talking. As she laid her hand on his.

‘Why don’t you take me for a ride?’ She smiled and waited. The guy that was actually called Ted stuttered for a second and then said yes.

During his speech Ted mentioned trips to America and Asia, many ‘business trips’ and phrases like ‘So my dad trusted me with the family’s car’ and ‘we bought that house at a remarkably low price, considering how big it was’. In fact, she was not surprised when, at the parking lot, he pressed his remote fob and the black Porsche unlocked.

‘I call shotgun!’ she eagerly said.

‘Sure, yeah, yeah’ he opened the door for her and actually stood there smiling for three seconds. He was wishing to god for Fernando, his married older brother to appear and see what kind of girl he had managed to pick up this time. Fernando would be out of his mind, because the girl in his car was way hotter than his wife.

‘Where to?’ he asked as he drove out of the parking lot.

‘You call the shots old hoss’

He loved how casual this girl was, no fuss or the things all the other girls had. She looked actually eager to hang out with him, and that was a first.

Sue had told him that her name was Erica, and that she was single and so bored. He had proposed to go to his house, she said it was better to go to Banbright Castle. This castle was the main attraction of the small town and only a half an hour drive from downtown Windstone.

During the drive she was in charge of the music, and he was of leading the conversation. She told him that she wanted to take a walk into the castle and watch the sea. He thought that was just fine. He told her about the house his family had in Berlin and how fun it gets during summer in his pool. Among his hobbies there was horseback riding and archery. She actually got tired of listening to him, and how unaware he was of his privileges. From the way he talked, it seemed like everyone had a ranch and multiple properties scattered all over Europe. He complained that his car was old, despite it being worth at least a hundred thousand.

She managed to put something inside her right boot. She then proceeded to sintonize the Rolling Stones and turned up the volume to almost the max. Ted hated The Stones. He believed they were too popular to be good, he preferred any other indie thing. But when you were driving such a beauty into a date, you could only say ‘yes’ to whatever she said. Because she was a divine mature woman, and he was barely into his twenties. If he managed to score with her, he would never forget it.

After he paid for the tickets to get into the castle, she held his hand and walked him into the deepest chamber she could. Despite being ancient, Banbright castle was remarkably complete. They found only a small group of asian tourists taking photos of the coast, apart from them, the place was deserted.

This time it was her turn to talk, she started to analyse the place. She told him that the narrow windows were designed so archers could shoot and not get shot back in the 12th century. She told him that in the ancient ages, when this castle was in use, many people where tortured and burned because they where either wiches or non-believers. He barely understood all of this, he only paid attention when she said that it was registered that the kings and queens used to go to the very top of the castle to have quality time together. He actually decided to take her there. The stairs that led there were narrow, he jumped the red tape that intended to stop people from going up there. She followed suit. While they climbed up the spiral staircase made out of nothing but rock, wood and rust, the structure wiggled a little bit. Still they reached the very top of the castle.

The view was wonderful, the sun was setting and the sea looked incredibly vast and dark blue. The air was cold and strong, the waves were beating at the bottom of the hill, making a soothing sound. The orange light casted in her face made her look mystical, her eyes were incredibly blue and full of life. Tom went to one edge to look at the sea.

‘Thank you for bringing me here, this is really beautiful’ he told her with real excitement.

‘Yeah, yeah I always wanted to come here’ Sue said as she took off her jacket and reached for her right boot, she took the small knife that was saved on her sock.

‘I have a question Erica-’

She sliced his throat in one swift cut. She hugged him to keep him in place and then stabbed him in the heart. The waves kept beating the hill. He tried to grab her once, but failed miserably. She hugged him while his jugular vein shot burst of blood, and felt how his chest stopped heaving after some time, and finally how his heart stopped. This took about thirty long seconds… that she enjoyed.

‘I bet you have plenty of questions of old hoss’ she whispered to his ear as she carefully laid his body down on the rocky floor. She took off her shirt, cleaned her hands with it and put her clean jacket back on. She knelt next to the body and closed his eyes with one finger. Looking down at the dead young man she reconsidered and kissed him on the lips.

‘Now you have a story to tell your friends Tommy’

She was driving down south in the black Porsche, it was a pleasure to drive such a fine machine. She stopped at a deserted gas station, it was small and surrounded by beautiful English countryside. It was at the top of the hill, and from the pump she could see the imponent Canterbury cathedral.

The trip from Windstone to the outskirts to Canterbury had been easy enough, she stayed in a motel for one night, paid cash and there were no questions asked. The Porsche was a pleasure to ride and by staying under the speed limit and avoiding busy roads, she also avoided the police. She had travelled listening to some Johnny Cash CD’s she bought at one stop near London and admiring the natural scenery.

But that was not the complete truth, she had to stop the car several times on deserted roads to puke and wait the pain away. It was her belly that hurt terribly, and without notice. She barely ate anything during the trip, the thought of stuffing anything down her throat was just utterly unappealing. And the night at the motel was not an easy night at all. Because Tom was there, to remind her of what she had done. At the time she killed him she felt nothing but joy and excitement, but while she slept all that urge disappeared and her normal, sane mind came back and it haunted her. All the urge she felt to kill disapeared the way the sexual drive of a man vanished once he reaches the orgasm. She killed a young man with no good reason, a young man that had been kind to her despite being so spoiled. She lured him to his death not unlike a hunter traps a bunny just to kill it.

The only reasonable thing to do was to settle down, because she could barely think at all.

So she filled up the tank of the Porsche and drove down to Canterbury, it was her first time there and she found the catedral especially appealing. It was visible from every part of town. This Norman-era building was what made Canterbury not just another town but the heart of Kent. She parked the porse in a twenty-four hour garage and walked down to the city centre.

A young girl, dressed with a simple black coat and white scarf was playing the fiddle. The sound was soothing, the girl danced as she played, she was spinning on the fast parts and slowly going back and forth during the slowest parts. Sue could not decipher the song, but that was not important, the grace of the dancer stunned her, and she threw five pounds to the tophat that was in front of the young girl. As Sue left, she kept playing, ‘that girl is just practising, not asking for money, and that is beautiful’ she thought.

She went to the Canterbury Library, and accessed one PC with ease. There she spent three hours. She looked at the news, any reports about Tom’s death, or her sudden disappearance from Birmingham. There were none. She looked for CD stores and the nearest Tesco. She also looked for a place to wait out her pregnancy.

As the sun went down she arrived at St Martin’s House. This big house was available to rent immediately, as it was managed by the Marsen family, specifically Anne Sullivan. Sue had called her after leaving the library and closed the deal. She could get the whole house to herself at a reasonable price if she paid cash today.

She knocked on the door and Anne answered. She was a thin, old woman.She was wearing a simple red skirt and white blouse, but wore a gold necklace and watch that made Sue believe that she was renting the place because she was going through a specially difficult time. She sat in the living room with her, they had tea and chatted for a while. Then Sue decided to close the deal, and paid ten months of rent in cash. With the money on the table, Anne looked at Sue and felt troubled. But her family had made her fortune by doing business, not by putting their noses where they do not belong. So she stood up and shook Sue’s hand.

Anne drove away in her own Porsche as Sue dragged her stuff from the car to her new house.

Anne left all her bags just next to the kitchen and ran to the bedroom. It had a high ceiling and the double bed was so soft that she fell asleep in an instant.

Her bloodshot eyes burned from watching TV, and she had only been at it ten minutes. Her belly was bigger, it had been three months and the baby had to be the size of a fist, she figured. Her nose was clogged, and she had a pile of used kleenex new to her sofa. She was trying to put her mind at ease by watching whatever she could find on TV, because the dreams kept getting worse.

Most nights she could enjoy a dreamless night, but not a week passes by where she didn’t have horrible, strange dreams. In her most recent one she was nothing but a spectator, she could see the bottom of the ocean. It was completely dark, but a tremendous growl was heard just at the next moment. She had to cover her ears, and felt her body shiver. As she opened her eyes, she felt her heart up in her throat because there was a gigantic circle of light in front of her, it was enormous, she distinguished thousands of colours. Some she had never seen before, it looked like the most intricate church stained glass window. She felt thousands of small fish washing over her. Then the circle of light suddenly disappeared. When it was unveiled again, she distinguished a long black line splitting the circle in two. It was only when the black line expanded that she realised that she was before the eye of a beast of monstrous dimentions. Then, the world was nothing but darkness, she opened her mouth and water flooded in. She felt it cooling down her body, and she tried to breathe, she was drowning. Then the eye opened again and moved. The shine was so strong, and she was so small.

She woke up with her feet in mud, she was in front of a lake. She had been sleepwalking. Her stomach ached, and she started to puke profusely. She felt how her stomach had let go, and all the food that it stored was now falling to the lake. She was not surprised, when she was finished she took off her nightgown, and cleaned her face and hands with it. Then, she walked back home wearing only her underwear. She was feeling so tired, but going back to sleep was not an option. She took a cold shower, dressed up and sat down to watch TV. This had been her routine for every nightmarish night for the last two months.

She had left her life in order to think about what was happening to her, and her baby. But the dreams left her drained of energy, other days the contractions and fever made her stay in bed all day long. The two or three days where her symptoms were at ease, she did the grocery shopping, and wrote down on the ledger she found on a cabinet. She figured that this house had never been rented before, from the great amount of gadgets and decorations, it seems that Anne had been living here until yesterday.

She stood up from the coach, killed the T.V. and tried to write. Her first entry read:

1st of April

The dreams are getting worse, they barely let me do anything. This is no normal pregnancy, of that I am sure. I miss Abe, he should be hurting so much. So, yeah, pity me. The view from my new bedroom is wonderful on sunny days, and I have drank enough tea to drown a fish. I take it with honey, just because I found some in the kitchen. It soothes me, and I have been eating more, mostly meat, and soup the days I am too weak to cook. I love the little girl growing inside of me (because I know it is a woman), she’s my child. But I am very confused, and scared. In the past many women died during childbirth, and I hate to think that will be my case. Now I'm going to sleep.

She closed the ledger, sipped on her steaming cup of tea and started layed back on her rocker. She was relishing the feeling of the cold air on her face, that was red and hot. Her mind cleared once more, and with that managed to get one clear thought: I would give my life for Dani.

Three months later, she was driving down Hackney road and her belly looked comically disproportionate to her body, as she was seven months into her pregnancy. She had been eating a lot more recently, chicken, meat, mashed potatoes, rice, even pork. But her face looked just as thin as the day she left Birmingham. Her neck still looked young, with no skin hanging, and her face looked smooth and full of colour. She wore a black long coat and matching sunglasses.

She did her weekly shopping just like she would any other day. Although this time she was preparing for those nightly whims, the last one happened just last night, she had craved tuna with rice at four in the morning. She had to eat the chicken she had stored for today and then wait the craving away in bed, which had been terrible for her and her baby. So she got double rations.

Once she had enough food for a week she approached the counter to pay and waited for the young man behind the till to scan every item. She was feeling dizzy and was looking down at her belly. Dani decided to acknowledge that by punching at her belly. Sue saw the hit and felt so happy. There was a baby in her belly that was real and would someday be right in front of her. ‘Dani, you will be so fun to hang out with’ she said to her belly.

‘It will be a total of a hundred and twenty dollars, miss’ the young man said.

‘Cash, it will be cash’ she answered as she reached at the wide poked of her coat and took out ten hundred dollar bills. She took two absentmindedly and handed them to the guy.

Canterbury was one of those charming towns in England that was not modern enough to have an electronic till, but had packers next to the till to neatly put your stuff in plastic bags. She acknowledged how the packer, that was another young man, but ginger, looked at her belly, and was amazed.

‘Miss, if you don’t mind telling me, can you tell me when the little fella is due?’ the ginger young man asked.

A bald man that was waiting in the cue looked impressed, even offended by such a question.

‘In two months, can you believe that?’ she answered, truly happy.

‘AYE!’ he said as he finished packing her stuff.

Sue was walking to her car through the parking lot when she let the bags go. They were heavy and she was feeling sick, it hurt her palms. Slowly she knelt down to recover some cans that spilled over. ‘May I help you?’ said an acute voice coming from her right.

She turned towards the voice and saw a kid, younger than those at the till, probably of about fourteen, he had long black hair and a plain red t-shirt. He knelt down next to her, recovered the cans with ease, grabbed the bag with his right hand and looked at her face.

‘My name is Ron, may I take these to your car?’ he asked as he took the second bag on his other hand.

‘Yeah, the black Porsche next to the soda machines’ she answered.

‘I don’t know about Porsches, but I know about soda, please follow me’ Sue snickered, he talked to her as if she was an octogenarian lady. She looked around, looking for his mother, and saw a tall woman looking at her and the kid. Sue waved and smiled exaggeratedly. The tall woman waved back.

She walked behind Ron and unlocked the back door so he could open the back door, and heave the bags inside.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he approached the black car, because that lady smelled great. She looked so cool with her black sunglasses and matching long, dark coat. He was feeling happy just to help her, and interact with her. This black car looked expensive, not what a mother would use. His mom had a minivan, and with his older brothers now adults and in college, it had no real reason to be, he lived alone with his mother. As he closed the door and armed some sweat on his brow, he turned back to face this lovely woman.

‘Thank you for helping me, you did not have to’ she told him with a smile on her face. To this he smiled back, he had all his real teeth now and felt proud of them.

‘It is no problem,' he wanted to hop onto her convertible along with her. Because she lived in a cool place, that was a given. But he felt excited and nervous when the woman knelt down, and took off her glasses. ‘Those are some beautiful eyes’ he thought.

‘What is your name?’ she asked as she reached into her pocket.

‘Ron Aberdeen, miss’

‘Such a pretty name, now I have to pay you for your services’ She reached for his hand.

His hand was soft and lean, she gave him two bills.

‘Thank you miss but I am just helping, no need to pay me’ He really didn’t want money, he felt ashamed to ask for it and he let her mom deal with it most of the time. But he really felt fortunate and excited when Sue reached and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Those lips were soft, and from so close she smelled even better, like roses.

‘You tell your mom that I gave you one dolar, and you keep the hundred dollar bill for yourself young man, is that alright?’ she whispered to his ear.

‘Yes, sure’ he answered, feeling the world famous butterflies flying wildly on his stomach.

She patted his back twice, and he ran back to her mother. As he did he turned back at her and waved, Sue waved back and drove off.

‘I told you not to ask for money, I can give it to you’ his mother told him.

‘Yeah, she just gave me one dollar anyway mom’ he answered.

1st of August

The pains are greater and they come in waves. I was once walking back home from a walk in the backyard and felt a sudden stab of pain in my back, as if a muscle had been pulled badly. I fell. Then I slowly pulled myself up, my back is alright now, but I am afraid that can happen again. My baby is coming soon enough, I am thinking that in two months I will be carrying her in my arms. The reason for my bad dreams remains a mystery to me, but it is a fact that they all started when I got pregnant. I even arrived at the conclusion that all my dreams are connected as they all show a terrible thing happening to earth.

I will jot down my most recent dream now so I will not forget it. I was not in a fictitious place, I was in a fancy party. I was wearing a lovely green silk dress and I was not pregnant. I couldn’t understand anything anyone said, as they spoke in what I think was russian. The big billboard that was visible from one window was written in cyrilic. I followed a man dressed in red, he had short, white hair. He opened the door and let me into a limousine, it smelled of roses. I was suddenly scared because an alarm started blasting. It was not coming from the car nor any nearby building. I thought it was a tsunami alert, but I knew that I was not near the sea. The limousine left the parking lot and started picking up speed. We were going uphill, I saw a gigantic castle, it’s structure resembled that of the Kremlin, only completely black and so much bigger. I looked to my right and saw a gigantic explosion of light (that is the only way I can describe it), the car kept picking up speed. The road should have been very long. I looked down at my hands and felt a horrible pain in my head. Then I looked to my right and saw the nuclear mushroom cloud. It was gigantic, it went over the clouds and I felt nothing but resignation. I looked into the driver's mirror and saw a woman with long, curly hair. She had dark brown eyes, and then I woke up. This time I did not sleepwalk, but have you ever had a dream where you are not yourself?

She opened the pill bottle with her right hand, cracked up the radio and downed three blue pills at once. Ron was approaching the car with two bags full of her stuff, and she showed him a thumbs up. He went to the back of the car and saved the food in the trunk. He then sat in the shotgun seat.

‘Hey buddy you are quite good at this, you only took fifteen minutes’ she told him as she got onto the highway.

‘I certainly try, because it is fun. The thing is, why do you eat so much meat?’

‘Who does not love a good steak every now and then?’ she asked as she changed lanes.

‘Well, how is Dani?’ he almost said considering the size of your belly, how is Dani? But at age fourteen he knew better than that.

‘She looks fine. Now why don’t you tell me about that lady you were so over the moon about’

Other kids may have turned red and changed the subject. But for Ron talking about Marie Antoniette was a joy, he was not reckless enough to talk about her with his mother or with a friend. His fellows seemed grossed out by the idea of having a girlfriend, let alone talk about kissing a girl, in the mouth!. But to Sue he could talk to.

‘Marie is really a beauty’

‘Hey boy who taught you to talk like that?’

‘Well she is, yesterday during recess I saw her talking with her friends and then walking alone to the store. I saw the chance and I took it, while I walked up to her I heard my friends Johnny and Paco actually hoot. I didn't care. So I go up to her and -’

‘You went up to her on your own?’ Sue said, impressed. Not taking her eyes off the road.

‘Well I am evil, don’t you mess around with me’ he answered

Sue laughed, he turned red and smiled. After a little while Sue turned into a narrow road and looked down at him.

‘You know why I let you come with me? Because somehow you always find a way to quote Elvis’

‘He’s the king’

‘And he will always be, yes’

‘I really like the long drives with you Sue, it is better than running around my room aimlessly’

‘What is a real mystery is how we convinced your mom’

‘Maybe she liked you, she is quite overprotective sometimes. I once played football outside without my jacket until late, and she gave me hell for that.’ He snickered.

‘I’d say that the pie did the trick, it was one of the tasty ones’

‘You bet’

He then told her how he offered to buy her a coke can, and how she refused. But she hold his hand on the way back to class. And that had been the greatest moment of his life, atleast that’s what he told her.

After ten minutes Sue stopped the car, killed the engine, and pressed the red button at the counter that opened the trunk with a plop!.

While she opened the door he carried the bags with relative ease. She sat down on the living room sofa as he put all the food on the kitchen, and gave him a tenner. She took off her black sunglasses and he felt the butterflies flying around his belly once more when she gave him a hug, and saw her sweet eyes closely,

‘Thanks buddy, you really get a weight off my chest’

‘You are very welcome Sue’

‘Go home to your mother Ron, see you next week’

He ran home feeling cheerful and full of life. It was only a mile away.

‘Hey mom, is she coming?’ Ron asked.

‘She will, remember that she is having Dani very soon, and god knows that’s when it gets the worse’ said Emily

‘Yeah’ he said, with sorrow in his voice and sat in front of the T.V to wait. Sue and him agreed on going grocery shopping every monday at four PM. He opened the drawer next to the coach and took out a black, leathery book. THE HOLY BIBLE, read the front in golden letters. He opened in a random place, and read. Although it was mostly boring, incomprehensive stuff he found in The Bible, he liked certain paragraphs, those that talk about the salvation of mankind through love and true faith.

He felt that there were so many people in life that were lost, those usually drank heavily and smoked everyday. Those usually asked you for a dolar outside convenience stores, or killed a man, or worse. He believed that if those people read some good verses they could change their ways, at least her mom said so.

He now looked for the piece of cardboard that served as a bookmarker, he opened it and read one verse he found funny, it read ‘Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight’, he snickered and said ‘you bet’.

But the minutes went by, and no black Porsche came by. He shook his head and asked his mom ‘why is she not coming’. ‘It may be that she’s tired today, calm down Ron’. A little annoyed but understanding he went up to his room, tossed the bible on the shelf and grabbed a battered copy of The Death Zone, and dived right into the story of the man who could foresee the future.

She had been having contractions all day, but she was not desperate. According to her calendar she was due any day this week. Her round belly was bigger than ever, and walking was difficult. She was certain she would not survive the birth, and felt nothing but peace.

She wore a long, silky dress, and sat on her rocker. The day was clear and the air once more cooled off her face, she relished the feeling and gave many deep breaths, for this may be her last day on earth. She had been afraid of death just as any other young girl would be, but the last three months had been hell on earth for her. Every now and then, when the sudden contractions and pain lasted for too long she actually wished for a merciful and quick death.

‘How many people have I known? That I don’t know, but I sure have met some incredible people’ she said to the empty room. She reached for the little table next to her, grabbed a fountain pen and the ledger.

Due day

I have met great people, some have changed me and I like to think I’ve changed others. Jenny was my best friend as a young girl, back in the days when I was fresh off highschool, and I was with her during her last days, she never lost the hope in her eyes. I promise I won’t either. Maybe I’ll see you again soon old buddy.

I have killed a man, and that holds no weight in my conscience, for the lives of two young righteous kids were saved that day. Abe, if you read this, please be sure that you were an amazing husband, and could have been a tremendous father. You are one of the few righteous men I’ve met in my life and you never stop cherishing me. For that I am so grateful. If you cry too much for me, I will haunt you in your dreams, so please don’t. We had the most wonderful five years, please keep helping the kids in school, it means so much to me.

Some other people I have met are now lost somewhere in the world. And to each of them I send my love.

I have been to America and travelled all over Europe. I’ve enjoyed the sun of the California beaches, felt the blazing sunshine of Arizona, rejoiced at the beautiful New York skyline, ran through the beautiful English countryside, climbed to the top of the Eiffel tower, and a lot more. I enjoyed live music, I danced until my body gave out, and sang until my throat was dry and sour.

I now remember my first kiss, how lovely it was, for I loved the young man I kissed. He was kind and never pushed me. Thanks for the great memories we had Dylan.

I have always loved children, for they are full of joy and innocence, and they are keen to share their love with me. I hope those who suffer find comfort somewhere, and never forget about the words of the Lord, that say that the road of happiness can be found through love and cherish.

To Dani. I love you girl, please be good and do good. I wish I could spend my life with you, but I think that I’ll have to give it for you to be born. I am mighty proud of you, for you have the strong drive to archive your father, and my love for people. Please know that with every good action you make I will rejoice up in heaven, for you are free and righteous. I don't expect you to follow my path, but to bring people up instead of bringing them down. If you ever want to reach out to me, just think about it and I will be next to you, listening. Now I am going to meet you. I hope that for one moment we can share time in this world and I can carry you in my arms.

She closed the ledger, put on her black coat and walked towards the coast.

He could see Sue’s house, it had started to rain when he left home and he was wearing a red raincoat with the hood off. His long, thick black hair stuck to his forehead and cheeks. He did not mind, for he enjoyed the rain falling on his face. He knocked on the door, but it stood ajar so he walked in.

All the lights were off, and he could hear no movement. He had never been past this point in the house, but he decided to walk up to the bedroom.

‘Misses Sue! Sue!’ he was saying as he reached the second floor. He could hear the rain splattering in the windows, as if they were fingers. But some of it actually was splattering on the floor. He realised the house was empty. But couldn’t leave before going into her bedroom. Her mother said Sue was in the worst stage of her pregnancy, maybe something had happened to her.

He was surprised when he opened the door and found the bed made a mess, the windows open and letting the rain wet the floor. He walked around, entered the bathroom, and a small mountain of medicaments bottles, they were empty.

He went to close the window, so Sue wouldn't find her bedroom flooded when she came back from wherever she was. To his left he saw the ledger, and out of sheer curiosity he opened it. He thought this was like Sue’s diary. He saw only two entries, and read them carefully. He was feeling guilty but he had to.

He started to shiver when he reached the one that read ‘due date’ on the left upper corner. Because it read an awful lot like a sucide note. But he kept reading.

‘If the baby is coming today then, she should be in the hospital’ he said to the empty room.

So he walked to the window facing the back of the house, and felt a chill up his spine when he saw the Porsche there.

‘Well then, where is she? She is not having it here alone.’ with the ledger on his left hand he went down and saw that the back door was opened and then thunder struck and he felt scared.

The rain was stronger than ever, the kitchen floor was getting wet and the door was almost broken from the strong wind coming into the house. Sue had left through that door, walking most likely. He was crying, not due to pain but the shock of the next strong sound of thunder.

He went to the bedroom, looked around and saw a silver cross with the body of Jesus Christ, it was about thirty centimetres long and it shined. He reached up to it and grabbed it.

He went through the backdoor, and saw a black coat in the distance. It was Sue’s stylish coat. With the silver crucifix in one hand and the ledger on the other he ran. The mud mad it harder to go but he had good rubber boots.

Sue had to be crazy to go out on a walk now, but that was not the case, something had happened to her. He reached the coat, it was damp, nothing here.

But then he saw in the distance the edge of the hill overlooking the sea. He ran that way.

‘Sue, my god, what the hell are you doing?’ he was thinking as he ran.

He actually saw her black long hair, she was laying on the very top. He missed a step and fell on his face. It was full of mud, a branch made a cut in his cheek that now burned and bled.

He started crying profusely, and felt helpless. He dropped the cross and ledger, and got into the foetal position. Another thunderstruck hit the town and made him scream.

He saw the silver face of Jesus to his right and remembered one of the few bible verses he knew ‘For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved’.

‘I AM GONNA SAVE YOU SUE!’ He shouted, grabbed the ledger and silver cross and ran.

He heard her screaming and ran faster. ‘SUE I WILL SAVE YOU!’.

He kept shouting as he ran through the mud and got closer and closer to Sue.

She was screaming terribly, she had her legs wide open and she was pushing and crying. She was suffering and bleeding profusely. Ron Aberdeen paid no attention to that and knelt next to her. The rain fell on her face and eyes, but she kept her eyes wide open and kept pushing.

The sea was a gigantic black mass that was crashing more than ever into the bottom of the hill.

Author Notes: With love.

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