Scars Pt. 2

It's been a week since my jacket was stolen. Since my public humiliation. But something good has come of it. Now I have Thais. She's the girl who didn't reject me. She's been coming over after school every day.We sit and talk. I don't wear my other jacket around her. I'm comfortable with her because she won't hurt me. I know that much. Thais always pushes my hair out of my eyes, telling me that I can let down my guard around her. She does that today, then tells me why she's more scarred inside than I am outside. "I've been raped multiple, multiple times... By my father, my uncle and my cousin." Her shoulders shake while mine go rigid. "I'm usually unwilling to trust any man or boy, but you looked different. I saw someone who was as scared and awkward as I was, someone I could feel secure with." I want to touch her, to make sure she's real, not someone I imagined, but I'm afraid to. I'm scared she'll break. I work up the courage to touch Thais's hand. She's looking out my window, lost in thought. We're sitting cross-legged on the floor, across from one another. She jumps, then takes my hand, and traces my scars again. "You aren't the only one, Adam." Thais whispers. "What are you talking about?" I ask. Thais pushes back her own sleeve. I see one pale white scar over her wrist. I look at it. "You didn't go deep enough..." I say. Thais nods. "If it weren't for you, I would regret that." I smile at her weakly. "I didn't want to go deep enough the first time. I didn't on purpose." I wanted my idiot adoptive parents, Brian and Whitney, to care. They're fools. Newly married twenty-one year-olds adopt a psychologically destroyed eleven year old boy and his confused little sister. I'm fifteen now, and most of my mental horror is repaired. Most of it. They don't know me. They're scared of me, of my appearance. I'm tired of them. The first time I tried to commit suicide I was thirteen, and I didn't want to die. I wanted them to realize what they were doing wrong. I wanted them to love me. I tell Thais all of this. She starts to cry. "That's horrible." I move over so I'm sitting next to her. I'm unsure of what I'm about to do, but my heart tells me to do it anyway. I didn't know I still had one. I slowly put my arms around Thais. To my surprise, she leans into me, turns and rests her forehead on my neck. I can feel her tears. One or two aren't absorbed by my shirt, and they slide onto my chest. Thais's voice is so quiet, I nearly miss what she says. "This is the first time a male has put his arms around me and it hasn't been perverse. The first time I've been safe." We sit for a long time, and Thais continues to cry. She sits up, as though she doesn't want to leave. "I'm sure I look a mess... Where's the bathroom?" I tell her where. A few minutes go by, and she doesn't come back. I'm not worried. She's probably just calming down. Then I hear her yelling. "You don't deserve to parent someone like him! He only wanted you to love him! And you couldn't even do that!" She's yelling at Whitney. I run down the stairs, and turn into the kitchen. I see Brian grab her shoulders, shaking her. "Don't talk to my wife that way!" he yells at her. Thais's face changes as she sees Brian's expression. She had been boiling mad, but now she becomes terrified. She screams. "Adam! Don't let him! Don't let them hurt me again!" She sounds so young, so frightened. I wonder how old she was the first time she was raped. Brian raises his hand to hit her, but I slam into him first. I shove him against the cabinets, and he hits his head hard. He doesn't know I am as strong as i am. I didn't know either. I hit him in the face, and his nose slowly begins to bleed. "Don't you dare touch her." I hiss. It's not like he can. I've got him pinned there against the wood. I'm only an inch from his face. "Don't you ever touch her again." I hear Whitney's voice waver out. "Adam... Adam, your arms." I remember that I'm not wearing a jacket. That my scars are exposed. They knew I'd tried to kill myself, but not that I continuously cut myself. "That's why you always wear those jackets?" she says, hurt. I don't know why she's acting wounded. She's the one who's been wounding me. I release my grip on Brian, and turn away from them. And i see my sister, my last blood relation, staring at me. Her mouth is open. I stumble toward her, but she backs away. "Molly..." I croak. She shakes her head. "I don't know you anymore, Adam. I don't think I ever knew you." Molly runs upstairs. Whitney and Brian are frozen. Thais is crying again. I want to wake up from the nightmare. I want my real parents to tell me it was a dream. But they can't. I watched them die four years ago. I pick Thais up, and again, she's the only one who won't reject me. I go towards our front door to take her home, but she shakes her head. "Not yet..." she whispers. "My uncle is over tonight." I go upstairs, and set her on my bed. I sit on the floor. Thais looks down at me, then crawls down next to me. She kisses my forehead. "Why is it that I'm always thanking you?" she asks. I'm in love with Thais.

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