Just like every other day, she dreaded what she’d see before her. She stared into the mirror, imperfection was staring back at her. She thought it’d get easier to accept the way she was, but somehow as the years went on, it only got harder. She could no longer trick herself into thinking that one day she’d wake up from this nightmare.
Today wasn’t an average day either, it was the day when everything was going to change, it could be good or it could be bad, but only time would tell. She tried hiding, far under her covers, maybe the feeling she had inside would go away, if she wished for long enough. Her stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots, twisting and turning, as if someone was pulling a robe around her insides, pulling tighter. She knew she had to get out of that warm, cosy bed, and face what the world was about to throw at her, so that’s what she did.
She knew today was the day. She could see her favourite teddy, the one she’d had since she was a small child, somehow when she held this teddy close to her, she felt a sense of security, even though she was growing older, her teddy still brought her comfort. She began packing the final things she needed, nightwear, clothes, toiletries and books. She’d even selected a few photos of her and her friends, to put by her bed side for good luck. At the bottom of the suitcase she’d placed a very special letter, it was from her dearest friend, telling her not to be scared, and that things would only get better. As she read the last line ‘We’ll battle through this together, I’m going nowhere’ tears ran down her face. She never quite realised how much everything and everyone meant to her, until today.
The town was quiet, she looked out of her window, moving the curtains aside ever so delicately, she didn’t want to wake up her sister. It was the early hours of the morning, yet she felt so awake. She could see the streetlight reflecting on the cars outside. She could hear the owls, tweeting to one and other, if only she knew what they were saying, maybe it’d be words of wisdom. She felt so cold inside, like someone had taken everything that belonged to her and just torn it apart, yet there was nothing she could do. Thoughts were going round in her head, like cars on a racing track, zooming round faster and faster, they never stopped.
She picked up a pen and paper, she scribbled “ I know we’ve never seen eye to eye, and that most of the time we argue, I’m sorry for all the times I was mean, for the times I let you down, I’m sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you how much you mean to me. I’m sorry for not showing you how much I truly love you. You’re not only my sister, but you’re my friend too, thank you for all the support you’ve given me, in your own special way. I’ll see you soon, don’t worry about me, I know you always do, but I’m a fighter, Take care. All my love. Your sister” She placed the note on her sisters bedside table, along with a photo of them.
She tiptoed into her brother’s room, to find he wasn’t in, in fact he was still out with his friends. She knew exactly where he’d be, in some club in town, drinking and partying the night away. She knew though that he cared, he just wasn’t the best at showing how he felt. She picked up the pen and paper, and unlike the soppy letter she’d written to her sister, she wrote “See ya later, I know your out having a good time, so have a drink on me, I’ll be home soon.”
It was almost time to leave everything she loved behind, her new journey was to begin. She zipped up her suitcase, reached for her handbag, and her precious teddy, and headed down stairs to the kitchen. The lights were on, her parents were almost ready to go. She crept to where her puppy was laid sound asleep and hugged him one last time, she whispered, “be good”. Her parents nodded at her, she knew what that nod meant. “It’s time to go sweetheart, have you got all your things?” He dad asked. “Yes, I’m ready now” she murmured. Her mum embraced her in her arms, like she did when she was little, she could see tears in her mum’s eyes, but never the less she stood embraced for a moment longer.
She left the house, closed the door behind her, climbed into the car. On went her seatbelt, the car began to drive away. She knew what was going to happen now. The journey seemed to drag on for hours longer than usual. She tried drowning out how she felt with some music, yet every song seemed to reflect her feelings and thoughts, there was no escaping it, she had to face her fears. She closed her eyes, maybe there were happier times in her mind to help her get through this, she could see how she used to run about with all the other children, she could see the happier times she’d had that week, people were taking her out for meals and treating her, almost as if they knew they might not see her again, but never the less, spending time with her loved ones was all she needed.
She must have been dreaming for hours, as she opened her eyes, she was there. Her parents nodded again with a broken smile upon their faces, “It’s time to go in now, your dad will park the car, and we’ll go tell them were here, they’re expecting us” Said her mum, whilst trying to smile. Up the long corridors and in the lifts, they approached the door, the door that divided life and death. She pressed the buzzer, with a loud bleep, the door opened. She slowly and reluctantly crept in, “I’m here”. They showed her where to go. She threw her things onto her bed, and put the photos on the cabinet beside her bed. Her stomach felt so much worse, the nerves had taken her, and she was a quivering wreck. Her face grew paler, she was almost ghost like. She looked out the window, she saw skyscrapers, hotels upon hotels, and a mass of factories, she was so far from her home life, she was stuck in this huge city, she didn’t belong here.
The minutes felt like hours, it was almost 9am; she knew she was in for the 9:15 slot. The gown and hairnet were neatly in a pile at the end of her bed, it was time to get prepared. She drew the curtains, as she got undressed she looked down at her cold, lonely body, she could see the scars from previous encounters, each telling a painful and brutal story, but each a major part of her life. The gown was too big, it almost drowned her and had little clowns on it, I suppose they were to try and make you smile, but she couldn’t smile, not now. She tied up her hair and put on her hair net, and sighed. “This is as good as it’s going to get” She took one last look at her photo’s. Her quivering hands picked up her teddy, they put her on the bed and wheeled her to her destination. Tears were streaming down her face, she felt so alone, she kissed her parents goodbye, staring back at them as she was rushed off into room number 3 “Help me, I’m scared Mum” She screamed. She could see a familiar face now. He patted her on the shoulder. “Hello, I know your scared, but it’s in your best interests, everything I’ve ever done is in your best interests, It’ll be over in a couple of hours, just hold your teddy tight, your in safe hands now” She was so worried, what if something went wrong and this time, he did hurt her? What if he broke his promises, and this time it wasn’t in her best interests? There was nothing she could do now, she did as she was told, she lied still, and awaited her fate. “Well another scar won’t hurt, I’ve got enough of them, what difference will one more make” She whispered. They smiled at her, but she knew that they didn’t mean it, they had to smile, it was their job. With that a mask was placed over her mouth, Her eyes flickered, and remained tightly shut. It was time. They put on their gowns too, they got prepared. She was away with the fairies now, so they started their work. The operation began.