I call him Scratch. Everybody has a Scratch but I dont know what they call theirs. Scratches can be strong and have a crippling, unyielding hold on their person or they can be weak and vague like a Greenfly crawling on your arm.
Like I said before everybody has a Scratch but what their own Scratches perfer completely depends on their person's preferances. Some Scratches perfer something as simple as fried food or chocolate. Whereas others require something more stimulating such as skydiving or bungee jumping.
A Scratch is born when a person finds something they like and feel it is essential to satisfy the craving.
Sometimes I can see Scratch. Now i don't mean other people can see him, just me. When I look in the mirror I see my pale, gaunt, bony face and then Scratch will peek out from my ear or just behind my neck. Scratch is a little black creature who is like the shape of a kidney bean and about the height of my thumb. He has very thin, lanky limbs and his eyes are little white dots that seem to glow. To anybody else Scratch would appear quite cute and perhaps comical, but to me it's a very bad sign. You see when Scratch shows up it means he feels deprived and must be satisfied. I try to ignore him and just get on with it. Bad idea.
Suddenly, he's twigged it and climbs into my ear. I wait and sure enough about half a second later that headache I'd felt for a while erupted into an unbareable migraine, this was my punishment for ignoring him but I know it's only the beginning. Next comes the feeling in my stomach that feels as if my insides are being tied into reef knots, then I begin to shake and sweat. I try to resist but then it all gets stronger and it makes me beg for mercy and scream that i don't want it. Scratch really can be heartless, and just after I'd begged for mercy Scratch seemed to laugh and he kicked everything into overdrive.
Then I'm charging through the house seeking the one thing Scratch wanted. Lately I'd been wanting to to pack it in and I begun hiding it in sly places to try to defeat myself and Scratch. It hadn't worked and soon enough I had the equipment in my hand and with a cry of delight and defeat and joy and sorrow I got to work.
I shook the little rocks onto the big tablespoon and held the flame under until boiling point then I found the syringe. Scratch made it hard for me to find a vain by making me shake and manipulating my vision but finally I found one. After checking the syringe for any gaps with half an eye I pushed the fine needle into my arm and after missing twice I pushed the plunger.
All at once the pain turned to pleasure, my tense limbs turned to water and I fell back into euphoria. Things got a little hazy after that. I remember falling backwards but I felt no pain, I think that was Scratch rewarding me. I woke up about three hours later with the needle still in my arm, I came round slowly but surely and removed the needle. Then I realised I'd failed. I was devestated, I was trying to stop really I was but at least Scratch was appeased for now.
Everybody has a Scratch and every Scratch perfers something different and in different quantities. There's nothing wrong with having your own little dirty pleasure and it's good to allow yourself some relief. That's all Scratches do really, they just remind you taht you need some sort of release.
Mine just happens to be Heroin.
Author Notes: This is not a representation of my own habits just my take on a growing problem.
I sincerely hope you enjoy.
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