A Secret For So Long
I used to be a really caring young girl, a girl who would always be wearing a smile, but things changed. My life was starting to fall apart, I was confused and lonely, and I didn’t have any idea about what was happening. I would hide my emotions behind a fake smile and when I was on my own I’d cry my eyes out to the point that there wasn’t any tears left for me to cry. I wasn’t that little confident girl anymore, I’d changed, and he had changed me.
I was five years old and I was a happy young loving girl, playing with my sisters and brother all the time, going on long walks and creating our own adventures. We were a very happy family, this is what I wanted for the rest of my life, and this is what every child should have. But in my case it wasn’t. Things started to happen to me that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, all I knew was this was uncomfortable, it really started to worry me. My dad wasn’t the best of dads from the start, he would drink all the time when he was angry and he would hit me and my sisters and brother. My mum couldn’t help us because if she tried to defend us she’d get the same. Sometimes dad was really nice but most of the time he was depressed and angry. He scared us all.
Two years passed and everything was getting worse, my mum would go out every Friday night to bingo and dad would look after us. This is when the bad things would happen, he would grab me and drag me into his room. He would hold me down and abuse me. There was nothing I could do, he told me I had to keep it a secret and if I ever told mum he would kill her. I’ve already watched dad threaten to stab her when he was drunk and angry, so I kept it secret.
Four years passed, mum and dad weren’t the same anymore. Mum had enough of his drunken ways, but how could she get rid of him? He wouldn’t leave. Mum would constantly cry and dad would always start arguments. My mum’s best friend came round to talk to her about dad and that’s when it finally happened, My mum’s friend had found somewhere for dad to stay while he sorted himself out. Within a couple of days he was gone. It was a big relief, I was free. I was still afraid to say anything as I was only eleven and I thought nobody would believe me. A few months passed, everything was so much better and calmer. I’d always think about what happened to me, I needed to tell somebody and that somebody was my best friend. I cried and cried to her, she had no idea what to do or say. She promised me she wouldn’t say a word and I believed her, but I shouldn’t of because she told her sister and her sister told my mum. I knew that my mum had found out so I stayed away from the house for a few days, but she found me and asked me what had happened. I froze. I couldn’t talk, I felt like I was choking and then I burst out in tears. I ended up writing it down on a piece of paper, my mum howled, I knew at this point things would be so different from now on. A week or two passed, mum would still cry, I think she felt guilty. But then we had to deal with the police and I had to be examined. It was the most terrifying thing I ever had to do. It wasn’t long till he was sentenced to twelve years in prison, what a relief.
It’s finished, no more being scared, no more crying, no more hurting.
Biography By Leah Kendall.