Self Harm

I want to believe there is always hope,
And hey maybe there is....
All I can do now is wait
I feel useless... slumped on my seat
Yet there is nothing I can do to prevent
This fucked up misery
I glance briefly at the sharp blade.
Its beautiful silver glint winks back at me
Should I? Do I dare?
I take a look outside my window
As if the sky holds the answer to my question
Well?
The clouds float on by as if ignoring my question
Fine.
I take the knife and test it on my skin
Its touch is cool and calm
I draw it deeper into me
Poke at my wrist until something red comes out
I carve some patterns
In a state of oblivion
I cannnot feel a thing
Yet watching the blood trickle down slowly,
So bright and red....
So..entrancing, I do not even notice
Tears are clouding my vision
Tears of happiness?
I feel free.....

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