Yes, Mr. Jekess. What can I do for you today.
It's Jaquez, Mr. L. Like haha but Ha Kez.
I'm working on it, Mario and no, you may not have the restroom pass, you've just come from lunch.
OK, my geniuses, the thought of the day is on the board, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." Which one of you is going to impress me the most. Whose eloquent, thoughtful response will garner the undivided praise from Mr. L. You have twelve minutes. I'll let you know when there are two minutes left for the benefit of those without cell phones today.
Yes, Mr. Ha Kez. Is that better, Mario?
It is, Mr. L. But my boys and I are wondering if you use the little blue pill.
A chorus of "Viva, Viva, Viagra!" resonated throughout the classroom. As the giggling subsided and I stood shocked and stammering, Mario continued.
Yeah, Mr. L. How many times a week do you have sex?
This is totally inappropriate, disrespectful, and rude I responded, using my best offended tone. This is so out of bounds there is no inbounds. I am overwhelmed, and don't believe what my ears are reporting. First of all, you guys are watching way too much TV and secondly, I should think you are embarrassed to have broached such a sensitive subject to a middle-aged man who truly loves and respects each one of you. But Mario, since you brought up the subject, why don't you tell us how many times a week you have sex. And Mario, before you answer, you should know, it doesn't count when you're by yourself.