A beautiful night, a small alley lit up with a bunch of lights, all in different colors. It was nice. He called this place his brain. And he was in control.
He was chatting with someone, someone he liked. Not for the looks, but for the personality of that individual.
Just a nice message. Just like every time. He just sat there, smiling. After all, he really had a great time, sharing stuff with his friend.
- I wish I could tell them how I fell… -
And that is where he was.
- I am going to do it -
He has so much. All he wishes is to share it, share it with those he cares about.
All the lights suddenly turned green as of saying – yes, do it -
Except for one. One that remained flickering..
But he didn’t care, he grabbed his phone, typed the message in and then, just before he could have pressed the send button, he stopped. The lights changed.
It suddenly got a lot colder. He tried to look up to the sky in his mind, but there was nothing to be seen there. He stepped back, put his phone down and waited. He knew what was happening, he knew who was coming.
But no, all this went so well, it cannot end like this, not again – he thought.
All this because of a stupid feeling toward someone. Why does it matter? It’s not like it is going to last long, nothing he did ever lasted long or was meaningful for any reason.
But even if it was just a stupid feeling that would have been gone after a few minutes, it still caused a huge stress, a huge dilemma. What is right? Surely, the reaction cannot be that bad… but what if it does come out to be the worst thing in the world?
He already had so little…
Then suddenly the ground started to shake, bricks from the houses started to fall to the ground and shatter to million pieces… they were dreams and plans.
He wanted to continue, even after seeing what was going on.
- I want to tell... -
- Just that one word, it is not that difficult -
Then, just as he thought that, everything, that was admirable in this places called his brain, disappeared. Gone were the lights, gone were the walls and houses. It was suddenly dark and everywhere he could look, just broken hopes and plans.
There was only one source of light left. His very own faint white light.
he picked his phone up, than stared at the blinking cursor… for a long time.
- Just do it! -
- Just. Do…. don’t...-
He lost, and he knew that.
- This is bullshit, I cannot kill a friendship or any type of relationship with just one bad word! -
- ...will appreciate it -
From the darkness and pile of broken bricks came a very familiar face, one he knew too well
- NO- The darkness said
- Go away -
he raised his hand that had the “marks” on it, he showed it right to himself, as of saying:
- We had this argument before -
The darkness just smiled back. It suddenly got very cold. He was surrounded by darkness.
- Go away, you have nothing to do here! -
Suddenly a face, very similar to his, but not smiling, came out of the dark mist.
- Get the fuck away from me! What do you want? You already took everything! -
- I am not done yet! - The dark face said, every word making his light less powerful
He tried to embrace the light, save it from the darkness… It was just not good enough.
- It wasn’t me, it was all you… -
- You know you cannot continue this, why do you still fight -
- Get. Away. From. Me! There are still people that think I am worth more than that! -
-You seriously believe that? Oh come on -
Than a wall lit up… but it wasn’t white, it was red. That someone wrote him again. And his brain was trying to warn him about the presence of the Darkness…
- Oh, what is this? - The dark face suddenly appeared at that wall
- Leave that alone! - he said, almost crying because he did not have the power to make it stop.
The dark entity looked trough his memories and than suddenly it spoke in a very sharp voice:
- You seriously think these words mean a thing? You idiot, these are nothing, you mean nothing… but you already knew that, didn’t you? -
- Stop – he cried – just stop -
- It would be a shame if something was to happen to these memories… -
And before he could even say anything, the dark creature placed its hands on the lamp that was now blinking in red… it snapped it in half. Than everything went dark again.
He closed his eyes, he knew what was going to happen. And than like clockwork: Bam, a harsh sound of someone smashing something and then the sound of a lot of bricks hitting the floor. It was the wall of memories. It was gone. Than the darkness spoke again:
- You didn’t need it, that person didn’t like you anyway. And if they did, well there are others out there, that are probably better than you… no, they ARE better than you, I am sure -
- Fuck you – He said in a very faint voice
- What was that? -Asked the dark face mockingly
- I said, fuck. You -
He lifted his left hand up and out of nowhere, he took his right hand and punched the left one. It hit quite hard.
Something in the distance lit up… it was his conciseness sensing the pain... but it wasn’t bright enough. So he did it again, this time with more punch to it.
It got brighter, but still not bright enough.
This time, it was really painful, but this was, what his brain needed.
As the clouds started to fade away, and as the light to his heart returned, he could see it all… and he wished he didn’t had to see this.
Broken dreams, plans and memories everywhere. Nothing intact.
The alley from before was gone, it was now an empty space, with everything scattered on the floor.
The darkness was never to be seen.
His mind went clear, he could think clear…
He wanted to write something… yes that’s what it was…
He picked his phone up, he needed two hands, because the left one hurt too much. Than he looked at the name… In his mind, he started to look for that wall, that wall, that had all those memories.
He found it, well the pieces of it at least.
He wanted to feel good again, so he looked at the memories… but something didn’t look right.
These memories weren’t sweet. They were bitter. They didn’t remind him of good times, they reminded him of lies. They reminded him of the words “there are better people out there”
He wanted to rebuild it… but decided not to.
He wanted to write back… but decided not to.
He wanted to share… but decided not to.
Author Notes: A very good friend of mine said that this would be too good to keep for myself. I personally don't think it is in any way readable, but who knows.