Someone Who Doesn't Deserve You

I guess you can say I'm a girl who attracts broken people. I am broken myself, knowing this I never want people to feel the way I do. But the people I attract to myself aren't good for me, I've seen this time and time again. They come to me broken, just so I can make them feel good, feel okay about themselves again. But once they've recovered; I'm left and the attachment I let myself have with them is broken. I no longer know what to do with myself.

This is what happened with you; or what I know what will happen with you. She broke your heart, cheated and lied. I was there. I was always there. When you were crying in the middle of the night, I was there. I couldn't stand to see you like that, I did everything in my power to help you. I tried to give you advice, advice I knew you didn't want to hear. Sometimes you would listen, but you would always go back. Back to the girl that didn't deserve you.

Through the mist of this, I started falling. Falling way too hard and way too fast for you. I know you're a good guy, I know you have a good heart. But I also know you're still so attached to her. I set myself up to be a perfect second place for you. A place that when you were mad at her you would know who to run to. A place that when she'd do something you didn't like, you could talk to me about it. Trust me I want to be there for you, but hearing all the stuff she was doing to you, and you still wanting her was hard.

Being the girl who cared too much, fell too fast, and trusted too easily; I was used to disappointment. I was used to being let down. By you it was different. It wasn't so much of a let down as a keep waiting for me. I know I couldn't expect you to be over her that quick. I was the same way with someone else. But watching her do to you what he did to me is extremely hard. I was waiting for you. I am waiting for you. But do you know how hard that is? Watching you love someone else who does not deserve you when there is someone else waiting and longing to have a shot.

I guess that's what makes me wonder about myself. People tell me to stop, that I deserve better than to be waiting around; but I can't work up the courage to walk away. You say you need time, you will get over her. And I believe that. But you still act as if you want her, she's always on your mind and everytime you come close to getting a fresh start you open that text and go right back. You tell me you're sorry, you don't want to hurt me, but you're so confused and you just need me there. You need me there as a second choice, just like I am to everybody.

Being the friend is hard, being the second choice is harder. But I am going to keep waiting. Waiting for you to finally realize you deserve better then what she has to offer you. But if you decide to go the other way, turn right back around and go back; we'll never be friends again. Not while you're with her and not when you are done. Once you go back I'll be blocked and our friendship is gone, and I'll forever just be a second choice for you.

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