Somewhere Beyond the Farthest Star

His workmates, managers and ex-wife hated him and weren’t shy to let him know it. Time dragged and dragged as their abuse became more vocal and more unending. His hell was his eternity…

His employment was only a means to an end…survival…he could get no other job…He was trapped…

* * *

Life had never been very good to him, nor very bad. Neither rich nor poor, he was in good health, had no true tragedies, no severe injuries, no sudden deaths of family members. However, he had no triumphs either.

He was happy to have married his wife at the time and happier still when she agreed to a divorce.

As time passed, he found himself at an age where he was no longer in demand by more lucrative employers nor with any romantic partners.

He was a realist who believed lottery tickets were the government’s de facto tax on gullibility, however, he entered contests with financial rewards that had no fee to enter.

He was unprepared when the day came at last for his escape…

* * *

The man and woman who knocked on his door presented identification proving themselves at the highest level of the national government. They wore sober business suits that were as unobtrusive as their polite well-spoken manner.

‘May we come in, sir?’

‘Please…’

The male opened his briefcase that contained a tea set,

‘Would you like some tea? It will relax all of us. We’re going to be here for a while. I’m Mr. Montgomery and this is Ms. Wellington.’

‘Have I done anything illegal?’

‘Far from it…’

As Mr. Montgomery prepared the tea, he imagined them reciting,

We are from the Government and we are here to help you…

Instead…

‘You submitted a request for genetic testing…’

His habit of sending in entries to contests with no fees had become an addiction. When the government offered free genetic testing he sent in a sample.

His neighbour whispered,

‘Nothing in the world is free! The government wants everyone’s DNA in their files!’

‘If your paranoid theory is correct, the government would offer payment to encourage mass compliance.’

The next day the government announced $100 for anyone sending a DNA sample…

‘We have the normal results of that testing to personally present to you, but we have some special results. We have an oath of confidentiality that we are authorised to pay you $5000 if you sign and live up to the conditions of the document.

‘If I sign and I don’t live up to the conditions?’

Mr. Montgomery helpfully held a magnifying glass as Ms. Wellington pointed at the fine print about mandatory imprisonment in solitary confinement for an unspecified time.

After he signed the document, he was given $5000 in cash.

‘This must be special news, indeed!’

‘Indeed. We’d like you to take an indefinite leave of absence from your workplace. If this isn’t granted, we are authorised to employ you with a salary of…’

It was over twice his salary.

‘We’re not authorised to give you any information. By accepting our employment offer we’ll take you to a salubrious location where everything will become apparent.’

* * *

He quit his job.

His belongings were put into a storage unit paid for by the government.

He hadn’t friends, only acquaintances to farewell, informing them that he was joining the government public service in the capital. Everyone wished him the best, but none desired to stay in touch…

* * *

Wellington and Montgomery picked him up in a black limousine with tinted windows and a bar he was invited to help himself to. No luggage was allowed.

‘One more thing, sir. Please give us your wristwatch and your phone.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘To tell you the truth, we don’t even know…’

Arriving at his city’s airport, Wellington jokingly called the executive jet they boarded ‘Air Apparent’. There were no windows on the aircraft except the cockpit.

* * *

He slept aboard the luxurious plane in a large bed with no idea how long they had flown.

The three disembarked at a snow-capped mountainous area known as ‘Sheckley’. He was issued blue tracksuits, physical training gear and undergarments he would wear from now on. Forbidden from making any telephone calls or using the internet, he would only identify himself as ‘Mr. Blue’ and would never reveal his former name or anything about his background to anyone. Remembering Reservoir Dogs, he wondered what he was being recruited for.

His apartment featured stunning views of the mountain landscape. The entire affair outdid the early James Bond movies, except he had no women to share his bed with. There was only Wellington who informed him things would become clearer after breakfast, and an early morning swim in a pool if he so desired.

Was SPECTRE running a health spa?

* * *

Mr. Blue was escorted into a room to meet a panel of men and women. There was tea and small talk followed by another oath of confidentiality.

‘Your next steps are physical and psychological testing.’

‘When will I be told what’s going on?’

‘When you’ve successfully passed your examinations, when you’ve acclimatised to the lower oxygen levels and temperatures at this altitude and when we think you’re ready.’

‘If you’re unsuccessful or you decide not to proceed, you’ll sign another confidentiality oath and be returned to your previous location or elsewhere.’

His army service prepared him for blind obedience and TIPPY TOP SECRET that meant no one knew what was going on. He could take the money, but he couldn’t run; he’d be escorted home, or to prison…

It didn’t take a genius in reverse interrogation to see the type they wanted...Intelligent resourceful mature loners, those that were curious but discreet, and didn’t mind a one-way ticket. But what were they going to do? Whatever it was, it was BIG!

Wellie and Monty took turns escorting him and were his personal trainers supervising physical fitness and agility testing.

He noticed similar men and women to himself from a distance dressed in track suits of other colours, but his and the minders of the others kept them apart.

* * *

‘Mr. Blue, this is your crossing the Rubicon, your Point of No Return. Do you wish to return to your previous life, or step up to a higher plane?’

He had acclimatised and with his supervised diet of sufficient portions of healthy food, and enough sleep, he was in the best physical condition he had been since the army.

Was today final graduation, or would the panel merely take him to another level of mystery? He thought of a TV game show and replied,

‘Onward and upward…’

Everyone was pleased. They toasted each other with the only alcohol he had since before he arrived.

Taken to what resembled a university classroom; in the seats were the men and women in various coloured tracksuits, but fewer than he had seen before.

He was the last to arrive. There were no introductions, nor were they necessary because everyone was named for the colour they wore. Hopefully no one was colourblind.

All rose as the panel entered the room.

‘Be seated.’

His briefing was unforgettable. No doubt the alcoholic drink was to calm him.

‘Everyone in this room has had a similar result in their genetic testing. You have DNA that will allow you to survive on an alien-inhabited world. You’ll be ambassadors, immigrants, pilgrims…You may or may not return to our world, the earliest you can return will be many years from now, and again your confidentiality oaths have provisos of solitary confinement that will apply. Does everyone understand?’

It couldn’t be any worse than where I was.

There were murmurs of acceptance.

Again, like the army…

‘Does everyone understand‽‽‽’

‘YES SIR!!!’

‘Let’s have some questions, Pilgrims.’

Ms. Pink queried,

‘Where are we going? Somewhere in Outer Space?’

‘Their world isn’t in Outer Space, it’s Inner Space, but it’s beyond the stars…we can’t explain it any more than that. We can only get you there and bring you back at a specific time, which will be some time from now.’

‘Just what are we going to do when we’re there?’

‘Everyone has been psychologically evaluated to take a needed job that suits their experience and personalities. You, Ms. Lavender, are going to be a teacher…everyone else will be informed of their employment when you get there. There’s no life without work, and no work without life.’

He hadn’t heard a trite fridge magnet/bumper sticker banality since before he arrived.

‘What are we going to do until then?’

‘You’re all going to school. Please rise.’

All did, more in unison than before.

The most striking woman he had ever seen half walked, half glided across the floor. She had a tanned milk coffee complexion and blonde hair. Dressed in a golden pantsuit, she provided a contagious genuine smile that everyone responded to with their own. The Beach Boys’ Surfer Girl played in his mind.

She spoke in a strange language, almost Oriental, almost Cousin Itt from The Addams Family.

You could cut the atmosphere of wonder with a knife.

She now spoke English in a charming unidentifiable accent.

‘Welcome. I am so happy to meet you. My name is Txtartaxa, and I am going to train all of you in our language and customs.’

‘Howdy, Tex!’

There’s a comedian in every group…

Coming down to introduce herself to each of them, she removed her spectacles to display her eyes had hazel irises with gold sparkles…She embraced each of them by their biceps, looked in their eyes, then rubbed noses like cartoon Eskimos.

Everyone fell in love with her…

* * *

Tex was the kindergarten teacher of their dreams when nostalgia overtook reality. His enthusiastic classmates were the best friends of his entire life.

They were as children in The Sound of Music to Txtartaxa’s Julie Andrews. She related stories that were almost songs and she projected holograms of their new world.

Language, culture, history was balanced by physical fitness performed in the form of fun games in the gymnasium, in the unheated pool, or on the snowy slopes. He wished his previous life had been like what it was now.

Everyone excelled, for they were a team helping rectify another person’s weaknesses and they comforted one another. None asked each other about their past; their shared future was more exciting. Everyone believed one of them was an undercover security agent.

* * *

The Day of Departure was rapidly approaching.

Tex would come with them to return to her family and monitor her pilgrim brood.

‘Questions?’

‘What’s the earliest we can come home if we so choose?’

‘Approximately ten years from now.’

There was a shudder in the room that couldn’t be heard, but definitely felt…

Ms. Green blurted,

‘Who knows what will happen in 10 years’ time? By then they’ll discover a way to communicate with the souls of the dead.’

That’s what I am; a poor soul, alive but unable to return or communicate with the world as I know it.

They moved to the individual bell-shaped chambers on a chequerboard floor that would take them beyond the stars. The speaker informed them that they had experimented with animals and discovered that if there was any deviation from the precise time and place of departure or arrival, the being inside the chamber would be like a jigsaw puzzle that couldn’t come together, a messy meat jigsaw puzzle.

‘Any delay or deviation will be fatal.’

Mr. Grey was seized by panic and hysterically ran to nowhere. From above the chamber a team showed their heads; the female looking through binoculars, the male firing a weapon with a sound suppressor and a telescopic sight.

‘We had to use the tranquiliser projector because it’s crucial that we can’t waste any time. Mr. Grey will be placed in solitary confinement.’

Mr. Blue had watched many television shows of rangers using tranquiliser guns on animals, but he’d been a soldier and knew what rifles did. Mr. Grey wouldn’t be waking up in a zoo…he wouldn’t be waking up at all…Indefinite solitary confinement meant inside a coffin…

Each of the pilgrims suddenly had a male and female escort to put them inside the chambers; as usual, he had Wellie and Monty.

Music played as a woman sang Beyond the Stars from The Singing Nun. Mr. Blue recognised it as his Auntie was a lifelong Debbie Reynolds fan; they played it at her funeral.

Monty warmly shook his hand and wished him good luck with his eyes, Wellie unexpectedly hugged him and whispered in his ear,

‘You can escape anything except yourself…’

Inside his dark chamber was a burst of bright light….

* * *

His chamber opened.

There was a smiling woman with a tanned milk coffee complexion and blonde hair,

‘Welcome, Mr. Blue…I am Vavaarana…I am so happy to meet you…’

He thought of a race of clean-shaven humanoid Cocker Spaniels.

The gateway to a new world and a new time was an impressive building resembling a giant Oriental temple. Unearthly pleasant music played, he saw his fellow pilgrims and their escorts, each of an opposite sex to each pilgrim who were equally in awe of the temple.

‘I will take you to our new home, and to your new career…’

She somehow reminded him of the first time he met his ex-wife…

* * *

His workmates, managers and ex-wife hated him and weren’t shy to let him know it. The time dragged and dragged as their abuse became more vocal and more unending. His hell was his eternity…

His employment hell was only a means to an end…survival…he could get no other job…He was trapped…

FIN

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